R2P2D26/35 - Out with the old, in with the new

January 27, 2012

Round 2, Phase 2 (Very Low Calorie) Day 26 of 35

I lost another pound over night.  That brings my grand total to 52.3.  I think it's safe to say, I'm rather happy about that.  Big surprise!  According to my "What Have You Lost Comparison" chart that I linked to in November, I am smack dab in between losing a small bale of hay and a 5,000 BTU air conditioner.  Awesome.

I'm wearing (for me) skinny jeans to work (jeans day on Friday) today ... a comfortable 3 sizes smaller than when I started.   I'm starting to think a little differently about when I end Phase 2 and go through my wardrobe.  At the beginning of this Round (a mere 27 days ago), I thought I would keep my old clothes "just in case." I even bought 2 Rubbermaid containers on sale after Christmas just to store them.  And, if you know me at all, you know how I HATE holding onto things that aren't useful anymore, so I was definitely giving into the "what if I screw this up" fear.  Now, I'm thinking, "Um, yeah.  I'm donating those clothes.  I'm NEVER getting that high again (Lord willing)."  This reality JUST might be sinking in.  After 3 months & 10 days (but who's counting?) of being on this and 6 weeks of planning before-hand, I'm JUST deciding this isn't a fluke or short term?  Hm.  I'm an interesting duck, that's for sure.  But, I've never, ever lost 50+ pounds, I've never stuck with something this long (and had a full-steam-ahead mentality about it) and, frankly, it'll be fun to jettison those clothes to the Esther House.

Last night, I went to a visitation with my Mom.  She hadn't seen me since I started back at this in early January, and when she came to the door, she said she really noticed a difference.  Good!  I'm not sure when my brain is going to catch up with the reality that my eyes aren't playing tricks.  My brain just doesn't compute what my eyes are seeing.  Maybe it's my inner self-critic that, until I see the scale register at (what 99 pounds?!) something small, my head won't believe my eyes?  That's just plain silly.  I have to remember the adage, "Progress, not perfection."  And, after all, I don't want to be 1) ungrateful for the success I've had with God's help (and yours) and 2) constantly begging for affirmation.  It's like my brain is telling me, "This isn't real until you get enough random encouragement from people who don't know you're doing this."  Really, Julia?  Really?  So what would that look like?  A random person, maybe a stranger?  Oh yes, how many of us walk through the day and tell a random person that they look like they've lost some weight?  Um, how about none of us?  But, yes, that's the irrational loveliness that is me.  Meh.  (That's me sticking my tongue out at myself.)

I have 9 days left on hHCG (homeopathic HCG for you newbies to the lingo), which means, next Saturday will be my last weigh-in weight that I need to stabilize at in Phase 3 (proteins) for 3 weeks (at least).  At this point, I'm beginning to play fast-and-loose with my schedule, because I found out I can be on it longer, and I don't have to be in Phase 4 as long as I thought (as long as I stabilize in Phase 3 long enough).  Funny, how I'm wanting to extend the rigid low-calorie Phase 2, and decrease the sensibly-eat-carbs Phase 4.  Who am I, and what have I done with the old Julia.  Oh yes, she's melting.  : )
Have a great weekend!  See you tomorrow!