When it rains, it pours!

Round 12 (R12), Phase 2 (P2), Day 10 of 24

May 22, 2014

Two posts in two days, after 10 months of silence?  Wow.  I guess I do have something to say, afterall!

Yesterday was a very busy day (home from work at 6, out by 6:40 to see my Dad sing in a local concert -- hi, Dad!).  And yet, I still went down 0.6 in the morning.  I'll take that.

This Round has been a pretty much uneventful one.  I don't mean the scale isn't moving in the right direction.  It is.  But, mentally, I'm in the "keep moving" zone.  I'm not feeling extra pumped, and I'm certainly not feeling fatigued.  It is what it is (one of my favorite go-to phrases, I've been told).  Many of the other Rounds (the ones with the Miracle Skinny Drops) had me feeling -- well, a bit mentally desperate to "beat" my weight, or to race to the end.  I didn't realize it at the time.  I just figured it was because I'd done more Rounds, and my mind wasn't as "in it" anymore.  Well, here I am, calmly cruising through in Round 12, much like I felt in Rounds 1 and 2.  Maybe I was a little more excited in those Rounds (because I wasn't re-losing the weight), but you get my point.

I liken it to this analogy: having children.  For those of you who have had more than 1 child.  The first child, everything is new (and frightening!) because you've never had to awaken in the wee hours of the morning to feed a crying baby.  Every burp is cute.  Every poop a masterpiece.  By the second or fifth or tenth child, it's still very good, but you've done it before.  Some of the shine and scare is gone.

That's where I am.

I've done this before.  You know that.  I'm aware that this diet is a gift (much like children are).  It doesn't mean I LIKE every minute of it (just like parents don't always like their kids -- come on, admit it), but I love that I am able to do this diet (just like parents love their kids).  I'm choosing to like AND love it.

So it's Day 10 and I'm down 14.5 from my loading weight.  I've got a way to go before I'm back to my lowest ever in this diet.  And, to be frank, I won't get there this time.  But, you know what?  I'm not even looking at that number anymore.  I'm going by what it feels like to be comfortable in my clothes.  I'm thankful I don't feel stuffed.  I'm happy in the knowledge that the scale will probably show me a number in the morning that is lower than today.  That's enough.  That's more than enough.  That's plenty.

14 days from now will be my last in Round 12 P2.  Yep, I'll be glad it's done.  But, I view these 24 days as a bit of a fast -- a fast from being ruled by my stomach.  Because, after 3 days of eating 3.5 ounces of fish two times a day, with either plain tomatoes, cucumbers, lettuce or asparagus, believe me, my stomach doesn't enter into this.  I used to envy those people who would say that they had to FORCE themselves to eat (who are these devilish people?!).  But, now I get it.  It's no fun.  I know I HAVE to eat this stuff, even when my tastebuds scream for some olive oil, salt and pepper on the lettuce, or a nice mouthful of hamburger with guacamole and grilled mushrooms and onions.  You know what I do?  I just close my eyes, and pretend, with every bite (and, trust me, there aren't many in these 24 days) that I'm eating whatever my tastebuds want.  And, for some reason, it works.

That puts me right back at the saying my friend Linda planted in my brain 2 years ago:

Fake it, til you make it.

Roger that.