R2P2D21/35 - Getting noticed isn't such a bad thing after all!

January 22, 2012

Round 2, Phase 2 (Very Low Calorie) Day 21 of 35

So, yesterday, a couple of fun things happened.  Yes, I lost 2.7 pounds (I miscalculated when I wrote my last post ... it was 2.7 not 1.7)!  But, it was WAY better than that.

First, when I got ready to go to my friends' house last night, since it was really cold, I decided to wear corduroys instead of my typical dress and knee high boots.  I have three old pairs of cords & an old pair of jeans (meaning, they are REALLY baggy on me).  I've been cinching them in with a belt (which is 2 sizes smaller than when I started this, by the way), and I'm almost at the last (smallest) hole in that belt.  Basically, I'm starting to feel like I'm wearing a potato sack.  So, on a whim, I decided, that I was going to try on some new cords that I bought on major sale right before starting P2, in the hopes that I'd be able to wear them at the end (or during) this round.  I put them on, and, while they are a little (and I mean, just a little) snug, they fit.  Yep.  And, they are three sizes smaller than when I started this 3 months ago!  SHUT UP!  (Sorry for saying that, Mom.)  On top of that, the shirt I wore was 2 sizes smaller than when I started this.  Yep, you guessed it ... like a lot of fat people, I have a couple of the same shirts in 2 different sizes.  That way, I could keep wearing the same style as I grew out of the old.  Sad what we do to hide the unhideable gluttony!  I think I understand why people say over-eating is a drug.

But, I digress.  So, there I was, looking at myself in the mirror, wearing a shirt that was 2 sizes smaller than when I started, and pants that were 3 sizes smaller.  And, I could move.  You know?  I could sit down, bend over, etc., and I wasn't uncomfortable, and I didn't look like a sausage in them!  Woo hoo!

So, there it was.  The proof was in the (non-existent) pudding that I've lost weight.  Yes, the scale is going down (almost 49 pounds), and the measuring tape is getting smaller.  Yes, my clothes are getting too big.  But, I haven't had people stopping me saying, "WOW!  You've lost a ton of weight!"  So, honestly, I haven't been sure if this isn't just a mind trick I'm playing on myself.  Yes, people who know I'm doing this have noticed, but, then, I've wondered (every once in a while) if it's not THEIR minds playing tricks on them.  You know, they see me eating my 3.5 ounces of orange-dill chicken (which was AWESOME last night, by the way ... I'm making that again!) and my mountain of tomatoes and think I've lost weight just because I'm not eating their food?  Well, instead, I realize, it's my mind getting whispered to by you-know-who trying to get me to give up.  You may think he doesn't care about weight-loss, but he-who-shall-not-be-named knows that if I go back on my promise I've made to God that I'm relying on HIM and not food to sustain me emotionally, then I'll hate myself for it.  And, I'll binge eat.  Well, not this time.

Good thing #2 is this:

When I got to my friends' house last night, after about 5 minutes, JoEllen said, out of the blue, "Okay, I can see in your shirt that you've lost weight."  I couldn't believe it!  She said she hadn't read my blog yesterday to see my apple day result, but she could tell I had.  And, she just saw me last week.  I asked her what she meant about seeing it in my shirt.  She said it was baggy (and she pulled on where) and then said it wasn't baggy there a little while ago (over my back side).  I couldn't hide my excitement ... since that's the shirt I have shrunk into!  Awesome!  I needed to hear that unsolicited comment about my weight-loss, because, again, somewhere in my little pea brain, I was afraid I DID look like a sausage in that outfit, and that my eyes were deceiving me that I looked okay.  I mean, for years, I see pictures of myself and think, who is that person who has swallowed a small house?  But, see?  Again, I was giving in to fear.  I've said it before, and I'll say it again .. fear is a liar.  So, I rejoiced then (and now) about that little encouragement gift from God.

That brings me back to today.  When I got on the scale, I was talking to God.  I asked Him (and I quote here), "Lord, thank you for sustaining me.  Help me have a good attitude today, regardless of the number, because I don't want to make the scale an idol in my life."  I looked down, and the scale was UP 0.3 pounds.  And, I was happy!   Here's why:

First, in Round 1 when I did an apple day and lost 3 pounds, I gained a pound back the next morning (which is typical), so 0.3 felt like a gift; and, second, because it was a nice, easy-to-remember number.  So, instead of 48.8 pounds off, I'm at 48.5 pounds off.  The ---.0 type of round number.  I like that.   

So, that's it for today.  It's been a long post and I've taken up enough of your time by processing this out loud.  Before I sign off, let me thank you, again, faithful reader, for listening to me process this journey by blathering on and on about it.  I know I'm all over the place most days, but it helps me to unjumble my thoughts onto cyber paper.  And, it helps me to know that I have people pulling for and praying for me, as well as checking in to help keep me accountable.  So, keep up the good work! 

Now, let's all shut off our laptops and go to church.  : )