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Tuesday, April 17, 2012

R3P2D9/24 - "Tudes" about Tickets

April 17, 2012

Round 3, Phase 2 (Very Low Calorie) Day 9 of 24

I got a speeding ticket today.  On my way to work.  Early.  About 1.5 miles away from my house.  Almost 10 years to the day after my last one.  In almost the exact spot.  Going almost the exact speed.  The difference is, they lowered the speed limit (who knew?!).  It's rather funny, when I think about it.  Why?  Because I really don't care.  I am a self-admitted speeder.  So, I deserved this many times over.  Fine, so I was going 40 in a (what I thought was a 30).  So I wasn't intentionally speeding, because I was (shocker) praying about work.  But, all-in-all, I'm fine about it.  Why?  Because $120 (plus $50 for the class that will eventually take it off of my record) later, I know God is teaching me a big life lesson right now.

Want to know what it is?  (You're in luck if you answered yes, but if you answered no, today is not your lucky day.)

God is teaching me humility.  

Uh huh.

I am not the master of my own fate.  (News flash, neither are you, so we're in this together).

God is.

He's brought me to this place with my job where I need moment by moment prayer to make it.  Awesome.  He's brought me to a place where I can pay for a $150+ ticket without blinking (well, maybe a blink, but I don't have to go without food to pay for it).  Yes!  He's brought me to a place where I know that what is the natural part of me is addicted to food.  Perfect!

Why am I saying, "Awesome," and "Yes!" and "Perfect!" about hard life lessons?  Because I know He loves me, because He's making my life poured out wine from pressing my grapes of self.  I do not own the road.  I am not in the Daytona 500 every time I get behind the wheel.  I am not large and in charge at work, because I'm the newbie.  I'm having success in weight loss this time because GOD is giving me the strength to do it.

And, there it is -- I'm not "all that and a bag of chips."  I'm an overweight, freaking out, speeding down the road (not flipping people off, but still speeding), do-what-I-want-when-I-want person.  But, with these experiences that He's brought in my life, in the blink of an eye (lights flashing behind my car), I'm having to submit to authority that may or may not be right.  But, it's authority.  And, I submit.  Not because I'm awesome, but because He gave me the ability to do it.  And, that rocks.  Humility is actually freeing.  I don't need to be the end-all-be-all in my life.

So, as I move into tomorrow, after losing 0.8 pounds today (my total is 64.9 pounds down in exactly 6 months), I move forward with peace.  Yes, work is stinky and scary and unknown and so busy I can't see straight.  Yes, I started the day $150 in the hole because of an iron foot.  Yes, I "only" lost 0.9 pounds in 2 days.  But, I have a job.  I have a car that is safe (if I would just drive it that way).  And, I am losing weight.

And that's just plain awesome.  I'll take that atti"tude."

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