R3P2D3/25 - I may be stressed, but I'm losing weight

April 11, 2012

Round 3, Phase 2 (Very Low Calorie) Day 3 of 25

I've lost 8.7 pounds so far.  On Tuesday morning (my first weigh-in after Day 1 on Monday), I lost my best first day loss yet -- 5.4 pounds.  WOW.  I guess it paid that I was so stressed out with work that I couldn't eat dinner or drink my water.  Yesterday, I did eat my meals and still was only at about 54 ounces of water (compare that to the 120+ ounces I was drinking in R2P2), and this morning, I was down 3.3.  So, of the many good things that are coming out of me being so scared that I can't see straight sometimes, at least this program is still working.  I'm in a new decade (from where I ended in P2), and I'm 5.9 away from a decade that I've been out of since 2003 (at best).  I am looking forward to seeing that one again.

Let's see what tomorrow brings, both with weight and with work.  I don't like that I'm being this negative and whining all of the time.  But, I will tell you that I appreciate every single one of you who has offered me support and who is praying for me.  PLEASE don't stop.  I will need prayer every single day for peace and not giving into fear and strength for at least the next 3 months.  If not more.  Please, keep praying for me.  I wasn't even this scared when I had cancer and was facing surgery.  So, this is serious.  I don't know why, but it is.

The good thing is, my heart is broken.  Broken in a good way, because I know with every ounce of my being, that I need God.  I need Him to help me breathe sometimes.  Other times, it makes me cry when I hear a song (like "God is my Rock" by Glad -- "God is my rock.  Whom shall I fear?  No one.  No one can harm me.") it's because I know the truth of it.  I'm being brought low by (humbled at) what is before me.  I know I am not able to do anything on my own -- so any success I have, I know will be from the Lord.  Any failure, I know God will allow only to teach me.  Now, if my head and my heart would only remember that at the same time.

I should go.  I have a HUGE day tomorrow (not as big as Tuesday, when I worked 7:30 a.m. to 10 p.m., but still big as I'm running a very big meeting at 7:30 a.m.)  So, I better sign off.  But, before I do, let me say this ... thank you, dear friends, for your prayers and your encouragement.  I feel so selfish because I'm talking all about me.  Of course, this IS a blog about me.  : )  But, I wish I had a better way of telling you/showing you how much your love and support and prayers mean to me.  But, all I have are my words (and tears) right now.  Thank you.  Please keep praying that I will not give into a spirit of Fear.  "Greater is He who is in me, than he who is in the world."