R3P2D1/26 - The (Phase 1) Loading is Done ... whew!

April 9, 2012

Round 3, Phase 2 Very Low Calorie Day (VLCD) 1/26

Well, I finished loading, as of this morning.  I am up 2.5 from loading for 3 days.  That's less than the last 2 Rounds as I've loaded.  I feel like that's good (not gaining more than 3 pounds in 3 days of food fest), but maybe it'll hurt me in the long run.  I don't get the exact science behind eating food like this on a diet, but it works.  It's not that I wasn't eating like I should -- I ate each day at each meal until I felt that I couldn't any more.  That's what loading is all about.  I ate until I didn't want to eat whatever I was eating (sometimes, one bite was enough, sometimes a couple of helpings).  So, there it is.  2.5 pounds in 3 days.  In the past, I'd probably have gained that in one day!  On my first day of loading, I was still within Last Dosage Weight (LDW), but I was up a bit (about 1.2 pounds), so in all, I'm saying I gained 3.7 pounds. 

So, as of this morning, I am officially 51.0 pounds down from where I was on October 17, 2011, when I started this HCG journey.  That's an easy number for me to remember.  Now, I'm in P2.  It's nice to be back.  It's also nice to be doing my shortest round of P2 (26 days, instead of 31 and 35).  I want to be in P3 before my Gram's 98th birthday on May 8.  So, I'll start P3 on May 4 (Friday).  That way, I can get some of the see-saw out of the way before her big day.  In the first two Rounds, I used  healingpowerwithin drops.  This time, after a bunch of research, I switched to Miracle Skinny Drops, which has more stuff in them (vitamins, etc.), so I'm hoping to have.  I'm praying that will help me do well in R3.  If I can lose the 0.5-1.0 pound daily average, I could lose between 13 - 26 pounds this round.  Of course, you know which number I'm HOPING it will be.  If I lose 26 pounds, I will be lower than I've been since August 24, 2011.  Yes, ONE day, and I remember it well.  I got to the lowest weight I'd seen (and still have seen) in 6 years (at that time, now it's 16 years) and the next day, back up.  I was doing WW for the first time.  Anyway, if I can lose 26 pounds in this Round, I will beat that weight by 1 pound.  That's a MAJOR goal.  But, honestly, I'll be happy with 15 pounds off (that's move me out of this decade, and through another one).  

I better log off.  I'm using a vacation day today, so I can cook all of my chicken and fish for the 26 days (I want to be 100% prepared with food cooked, because I know work will exhaust me this time). I'm going to force myself to eat and drink what I'm supposed to, so I can lose, because I just don't want to eat.  I guess that's how this new job makes me feel -- like throwing up because of fear of failure.  You know the old sob story.

So, I'll leave you with this thought -- one of the points that my pastor preached about yesterday really reasonated with me (they all did, but point #1 was just what I personally needed to hear).  We were studying John 20:19-31.  

Ritch's first point was, "We receive a freedom from FEAR."  The disciples had just either watched, or fled from watching, the death of their closest friend on Earth.  Those that stayed (John), watched their best friend die an excruciatingly painful 6 hour death, only 2 days before.  They were huddled in an upper room, whispering about what to do next.  They were afraid of what would happen to them, what they should do next, and grieving the loss of Jesus.  They were probably even reeling from the pain of what Judas had done (betraying Jesus, then killing himself).  He had been their friend, too, for the last 3 years.  It was a whirlwind.  I'm sure many were feeling major guilt about fleeing and leaving Jesus in the hands of Rome.  

What happened next?  Jesus appeared to them.  That was shocking enough.  But, what did He say?  "Thanks a lot, guys, for sticking with me."  "You jerks could have raised an army.  Way to have my back."  "You are all going to hell because you left me."  Nope.  He said, "Peace be with you."  PEACE.  He had pity on them, because He knew their hearts were frightened and traumatized.  He wanted them to know everything was alright.  As Pastor Ritch said yesterday, "Our passionate shepherd knows His troubled sheep need to be calmed.  He knows that a troubled heart is serious business.  Condemnation is gone.  Many are the afflictions (sickness, failure, persecution) of man to man, but God will deliver us from all.  They killed Jesus' body, but only for a time.  What can man do to me with God on my side?"

"When we are afraid that God will condemn us for fearing (aka: not trusting), remember how He reacted to his disciples who had fled (or denied Him) after he was taken by the Romans to be crucified.  When He rose from the dead and appeared to them (freaking them out -- was He a ghost? were their eyes deceiving them?), His first concern was to comfort them.  Comfort.  I am clinging to that when the fear of the world (this new, seemingly impossible job) comes crashing in.  I pray, that whatever you are facing today, you remember Jesus' words ... "Peace be with you."  HE is that peace.