Apples, Apples, Apples!

Round 12 (R12), Phase 2 (P2), Day 15 of 24

 

May 22, 2014

I'm doing my R12 apple day today.  Not because I've stopped losing.  I'm actually having the 2nd best Round ever (Round 1 beat this one, but that's normal for HCG -- Round 1 is always the best).  I'm breaking the rules -- apple days are used to break a stall in P2, and I'm not stalled.  I'm going "rogue" because I have to eat, and I simply cannot stomach the idea of eating another vegetable.  I am sick of food. Sick. Of. Food. Did you ever think you'd hear those words uttered from this mouth? I didn't.

 

I'm aware that this is SUCH a white-bread American problem to have.  There are starving people in Africa. And China. And Peoria. I'm not complaining.  "Oh gee, I'm fat because I eat too much and woe is me that I have to deny myself goodies to get healthy."  Yep.  I get the selfishness in that statement.  And, really, I'm not making it, or complaining.  I literally am stating what my stomach has been telling me since about Day 3 (I'm on Day 15).  I cannot eat another vegetable today.  Unless I want to throw up.  And, I'm pretty sure that's not great on this diet too.  I may only get 500 calories a day, but that's because HCG gets the other 2,000 calories from stored fat cells.  It won't burn if I don't eat.  So, eat I must.

 

That's why I'm eating apples today.  My 1 apple day I give myself a Round.  What a weird thing to say (like I'm saying, "I like snowflakes").

 

This Round is like my snowflake Round.  It's completely different than all of the others before it.  

 

First, I have no appetite.  I've skipped some food -- usually veggies -- from over 1/2 of my meals since I've been on this Round.  In the last 8 or so Rounds, I felt like I'm licking my plate clean.  Second, I have no cravings.  None.  I mean, if you gave me nothing to eat for 3 weeks, I'd probably be happier.  Third, this Round is a record breaker.  I'm not stressed, I'm not dying to eat other food.  I'm not chasing a number on the scale.  And, I'm still beating 10 other Rounds.  Fourth ... well, actually, I'm stunned by the first 3, so I'll stop there.

 

I've lost 18.1 pounds in 15 days.

 

It makes me smile to think that 2 short weeks ago, I couldn't fit into the clothes I'm wearing.  Well, I fit in them, but I SHOULDN'T have been wearing them in public.  This weekend, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and thought there should be more in this spot or that spot, and realized, "Oh yeah, I'm losing weight."  It's probably not noticeable to anyone but me, but I'll take it!

 

So, not counting tonight's feast of up to 3 apples (I've choked down 3 today), I have 16 meals left before I can put olive oil on my blessed lettuce.  I can do this!  It's only:

• 16 pieces of fish
• 16 pieces of fruit (I usually eat 1 orange and 1 apple a day)
• 16 grissini (those little Italian breadsticks)
• 8 Tbs of milk (1 Tbs a day allowed)
• 16 vegetables

Notice I wrote vegetables last?  Vegetables.  I'm not talking about yummy versions, with butter or cheese or olive oil.  I mean as much PLAIN lettuce or celery or cucumbers as I can stomach / errr, uh, enjoy.  Plain.  Dry.  Try getting garlic or pepper to stick to dry veggies.  I dare you.  I have to eat another cucumber in the next 9 days, I just might go postal on someone.

 

So, since my food choices are made for me for the next -- say it with me -- 9 days, I need to spend the rest of my time thinking about how I'm going to stick these losses.  My dear (truly non judgmental friend, Linda) asked me last week, "What are you going to do to stick these losses?"  Good question, my sage friend.  I've decided, regardless of what the diet says (no exercise for the first 1-2 weeks of P3), I'm exercising after 48 hours in P3.  Come what may!  I'd rather gain because of exercise than lack of it.  Saturday, June 7, I'm getting on my bike, or hiking.  Mark that on your calendars.  It should be a national holiday.  National Julia Gets To Exercise Day.  I wonder if Hallmark has a card for that?  

 

My plan is to do sit ups and arm lifts, hike, cycle, and, I hope, run on a treadmill a bit.  I've never run in my life, but have always wanted to.  Wishing to do it won't make it happen.  Why not?  This "don't exercise" thing hasn't really been working out well for me.  And, while I'm not hungry for food, I actually AM hungry to exercise.  I mean it ... I FEEL hungry for it.

 

In the meantime, "Let her eat apples!"  I can't say, "Let them eat cake" because I can't have cake.  But, you already knew that.

When it rains, it pours!

Round 12 (R12), Phase 2 (P2), Day 10 of 24

May 22, 2014

Two posts in two days, after 10 months of silence?  Wow.  I guess I do have something to say, afterall!

Yesterday was a very busy day (home from work at 6, out by 6:40 to see my Dad sing in a local concert -- hi, Dad!).  And yet, I still went down 0.6 in the morning.  I'll take that.

This Round has been a pretty much uneventful one.  I don't mean the scale isn't moving in the right direction.  It is.  But, mentally, I'm in the "keep moving" zone.  I'm not feeling extra pumped, and I'm certainly not feeling fatigued.  It is what it is (one of my favorite go-to phrases, I've been told).  Many of the other Rounds (the ones with the Miracle Skinny Drops) had me feeling -- well, a bit mentally desperate to "beat" my weight, or to race to the end.  I didn't realize it at the time.  I just figured it was because I'd done more Rounds, and my mind wasn't as "in it" anymore.  Well, here I am, calmly cruising through in Round 12, much like I felt in Rounds 1 and 2.  Maybe I was a little more excited in those Rounds (because I wasn't re-losing the weight), but you get my point.

I liken it to this analogy: having children.  For those of you who have had more than 1 child.  The first child, everything is new (and frightening!) because you've never had to awaken in the wee hours of the morning to feed a crying baby.  Every burp is cute.  Every poop a masterpiece.  By the second or fifth or tenth child, it's still very good, but you've done it before.  Some of the shine and scare is gone.

That's where I am.

I've done this before.  You know that.  I'm aware that this diet is a gift (much like children are).  It doesn't mean I LIKE every minute of it (just like parents don't always like their kids -- come on, admit it), but I love that I am able to do this diet (just like parents love their kids).  I'm choosing to like AND love it.

So it's Day 10 and I'm down 14.5 from my loading weight.  I've got a way to go before I'm back to my lowest ever in this diet.  And, to be frank, I won't get there this time.  But, you know what?  I'm not even looking at that number anymore.  I'm going by what it feels like to be comfortable in my clothes.  I'm thankful I don't feel stuffed.  I'm happy in the knowledge that the scale will probably show me a number in the morning that is lower than today.  That's enough.  That's more than enough.  That's plenty.

14 days from now will be my last in Round 12 P2.  Yep, I'll be glad it's done.  But, I view these 24 days as a bit of a fast -- a fast from being ruled by my stomach.  Because, after 3 days of eating 3.5 ounces of fish two times a day, with either plain tomatoes, cucumbers, lettuce or asparagus, believe me, my stomach doesn't enter into this.  I used to envy those people who would say that they had to FORCE themselves to eat (who are these devilish people?!).  But, now I get it.  It's no fun.  I know I HAVE to eat this stuff, even when my tastebuds scream for some olive oil, salt and pepper on the lettuce, or a nice mouthful of hamburger with guacamole and grilled mushrooms and onions.  You know what I do?  I just close my eyes, and pretend, with every bite (and, trust me, there aren't many in these 24 days) that I'm eating whatever my tastebuds want.  And, for some reason, it works.

That puts me right back at the saying my friend Linda planted in my brain 2 years ago:

Fake it, til you make it.

Roger that.

Admit it, you thought I gave up, didn't you?

Round 12 (R12), Phase 2 (P2), Day 9 of 24

 

May 21, 2014

Why have I been silent on this site? There have been a couple of reasons, really. First, I didn't have much to say that you hadn't already heard me say about weight loss (still plugging away, on the same 25 pounds). Second, I honestly forgot about it. Yep. Literally forgot I had a blog. Third, when I would remember, "Oh, hey, I have a blog!" I would realize I didn't know how to log in anymore (google changed the log in address). So, today, I took the plunge, and an actual 30 minute lunch break (novel idea) and tried to navigate my way in. And, here I am.

 

Ta da!

I hope you aren't expecting much.  So, here's the scoop. I've been busy living. Just like you have been. And, some days (meals, moments), I've fought the good fight. Other times, I haven't. So, it's resulted in me losing and gaining and losing and gaining (etc., etc., etc.) the same 25 pounds. So, as of 10 days ago, when I started Round 12 (yep, that's not a typo), I had successfully kept off 60 pounds from my highest starting weight. But, then that pesky 25 pounds keeps falling off and leaping back on. That's the nice way of saying, "I give into sloth and gluttony" from time to time. And yet, I plug on.

 

One of the decisions I made early on was to dump all of the clothes that I shrank out of.  I'm SO glad I made that decision.  It has helped me keep going, when I gain some back, and start to feel like a sausage in my clothes.  I am absolutely NOT going to buy bigger clothes.  I have some smaller ones that I bought on MASSIVE sale, and I am going to shrink into those.  So, being cheap has its advantages in weight loss.  Who knew?

Okay, so almost a year has come and gone.  I think it's closer to 10 months.  So, what has this year brought? Well, it's brought lots of time with the kiddies and adults I love. With that comes less sleep, lots of time living from calendar event to calendar event, which, in my life, sometimes leads to poor food choices. But, that's MY problem. I wouldn't trade any of the time spent with people I love for those 25 pounds or 250 pounds.

What else has the year brought? For those of you who talk to me frequently, you know, my Gram turned 100 almost 2 weeks ago. I'm pretty proud of her. Isn't she cute?

 

I’ve gotten into a routine with Samuel and Benjamin that includes sleepovers and baths and clean clothes and daycare and daily schedules for summer care (and rides to and from said summer care) and dentist appointments and kindergarten registrations and Sunday School and mixing up meds at night that were meant for the morning.  Yes, I’ve done it all.  Almost.  I’ve got a lot of dirty stuff around and in my toilet, but my home is a happy haven for two little boys (and hopefully more) who need it.  And that makes me happy.

I guess that makes my Mary Poppins Halloween costume apropos (which is why I picked it – England lover and lover of kiddies).

Work has come and gone and come again.  Four reorganizations, two bosses, two Vice Presidents and seven people in and out of my team (with currently the oddest, and most difficult personality mix I’ve had yet).  And, I’m comfortable.  God has done a miracle in my life.  I am okay with not knowing the end result of … well, almost anything.  Almost.

I started Round 12 back to the old drops that I used in the first two (my most successful) Rounds.  I feel awesome (way better than with the “new” drops I used in the other Rounds.  No mental fatigue.  Yes, the food is boring on Day 9, but the weight loss isn’t (13.9 pounds).  I have 15 days left, and I’m excited to see where I end up, and how I will keep it off.  It’s basically going to be a moment by moment journey, for the rest of my life.  I have to remember that.  There’s no shame in saying it.  So, let me say it again.

I will struggle with food every moment of every day for the rest of my life.

And, I’m okay with that.

Why?

Because the alternative is to give up.  I’m NOT okay with that. 

I’m letting God do His work in me.  One of the hardest things for a human being (or at least, THIS human being) to do is to wait.  God knows that about me – I hate waiting.  I will act, buy, talk, drive, plan, eat, worry … just to avoid waiting.  Well, He’s been working in me – seriously a miracle in me – to be not just comfortable, but happy and at peace, in the chaos of no answers.  He gently nudged me to be okay with this, for example:

Yep, that was Mothers Day 2014.  And it was Chris’ idea.  Go ahead and rub your eyes.  You aren’t seeing things (in the immortal words of Forrest Gump, “And that’s all I’ve got to say about that”).

So, He's working a miracle in me, inside and out.  I'm not giving up on me.  He sure won't, so if the Creator of the universe isn't giving up on me, what makes me think I have the right?  I’m still eager to see how God created me to look, once I lose all of the weight. We’ll see.  At least, I hope it’s better than this from when I started this journey 2.5 years ago:

 



R8P2D16 of 23 - Hello from Cloudy Dayton, Ohio

Round 8 (R8), Phase 2 (P2), Day 16 of 23

July 22, 2013

Well, off of the topic of weight loss for just a second ... Elizabeth II has yet another male in line for her throne.  Her grandson William) & his wife Kate had their first child, a son, today, right around the time I was leaving for Clayton.  My vote for the name of the 3rd in line to the throne is Albert Phillip Charles William Spencer Windsor. That boils down to this: Great-great Gpa (George VI, Elizabeth II's father), Great-Gpa (Prince Consort, Elizabeth II's husband), Gpa, Father, Gma's maiden name (Diana Spencer) & their last name.

But, enough of that.

Today is my friend JoEllen's 52nd birthday -- HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOELLEN! 

So, back to our regularly scheduled program.  Weight loss, or lack thereof.

I have had 154 ounces of water today.  Yep.  I'm a nut.  But, I am NOT hungry.  I packed all of my food for the trip & was actually very satisfied with my lunch (bison, a tomato, an apple & a grissini) on my way here today.  Dinner was, well, dinner.  The chicken I brought was yummy, but I packed cucumbers for the dinner veggie & well, I'm kind of "over" cucumbers since Round 3.  But, they travel nicely.  So, chicken, cucumber, orange & grissini for dinner.  Tomorrow's weigh in should be down.  And, that's what I want, because, believe it or not, Friday is my last day of drops (Last Dosage Weight, LDW).  So, Saturday - Monday I'm going to be eating P2 without the help of the drops.  It's been the slowest weight loss Round ever, so I'm praying I can really have my mind in this for P3 & stabilize like a champ & end 10 pounds (that's right) above R7 LDW.  I told you, this has been the slowest weight loss ever.  

But, down is better than up!  I'm in the same room in Clayton that I was in the last time I was here & I'm 13 pounds less.  I had hoped to be 16-20 pounds less, but let's not quibble over 3-7 pounds.  

THE KEY IS TO STABILIZE WELL & I will keep the weight off.  Good grief!  Do I have to keep yelling that at myself to remember?

Evidently so.

:-)

One more thing -- my Business Trip next week

July 19, 2013 -- Same day, different post

Yep, I'm going back to Clayton, Ohio.  Right outside of Dayton, Ohio, the home of aviation. Go figure. 

At least, this time, I will be by myself for the trip there and back.  Since I'll be alone on my travels to and from, I might just stop by the fireworks emporium in Indiana on my way home.  Have a little pow (fireworks) to go with my wow (loading) at the end of this Round?  I also might stop by the aviation museum, that I'm pretty sure we visited every year when I was a kid.  Right, Dad?  After all, I've got to keep myself busy in the evenings, since I WON'T be eating.

While I'm there, I will be surrounded by people.  I'm trying to figure out how to bow out of any dinner or cocktail offers if they come.  My plan is to pack my own food, buy veggies while I'm there and eat in my room.  Fortunately, I will be in the Residence Inn, so I'll have a big fridge, so I should be able to stock it with tea, ice a small milk and lots of water, to make lemon water (my staple drink).

So, again, would you mind praying for me?  This most certainly IS a different Round.  I've never traveled on P2 before (besides 1 road trip to Wisconsin last year to return my friend Linda's Mom to her home -- but that was an up and back).  For once, this year, I will travel for work WITHOUT gaining weight, and, Lord-willing, return home several pounds lighter (as opposed to heavier) than when I set out for the trip!  That, my friends, is rather exciting.

R8P2D13/23 -- Thanks for the prayer

Round 8, Phase 2, Day 13 of 23

July 19, 2013

Thanks for praying for me.  I felt a real peace the rest of the day, and, it has continued.  I'm not just saying that because my weight loss picked up in the next two weigh-ins.  I'm saying that because I feel peaceful and not afraid.  I attribute that to prayer.  Thank you, Lord (and you for praying).  Sometimes, when one is so close to something, it is difficult to pray in exactly the way that is needed because fear clouds our minds.  I'm grateful God put it on my heart to ask for help.  Because I felt uplifted.  What a gift.

After posting last time (on Wednesday), I had the owner of Miracle Skinny Drops (the drops I use) reach out to me in a private FB message saying she wanted me to send her my stats -- menus, everything -- so she could help me see if I was doing anything wrong.  She confirmed that I wasn't (Johnson & Johnson's baby oil is fine, the spices I used were fine, the menus I have been been eating are spot on).  THAT lifted a burden (I can't tell you how mental this is, until you actually DO this diet).  Then, she suggested, based on the number of Rounds I have done, that I should up my hHCG drops from 80 a day to 90.  Now, before you cynics out there say she's trying to make more money, let me assure you, I see on their private FB page that they give all sorts of free advice to all sorts of people (those using injections of the actual hormone, to those using other homeopathic HCG providers, to those like me who use their own).  They are Christians, they help people (like me) lose weight, and I am confident in their counsel.

So, I did up my drops on Wednesday by 10 drops.  The next morning, the scale showed I dropped 2 pounds.  Yesterday, I took the same number of drops, and this morning, I dropped another 1.8 pounds.  This is the type of weight loss I should have been seeing in the first week, not at Day 12 & 13 when the weight loss drops to nothing.

So, my only conclusion is, after 8 Rounds, I guess it was time to up my dose.  I suppose I'll need to up the dose again in Round 10 in January.  Round 9 is the end of August-September.

Anyway, I'm back in the window (at the bottom of the window, but it's opening), and I'm feeling calm.  THAT is huge.  And, fortunately, thanks to Shawna at Miracle Skinny Drops, your prayers, and of course, God (the one to whom the arrow in the picture above is pointing), I am NOT as huge today as I was 2 days ago.  :-)

R8P2D11 of 23 -- I need prayer

July 17, 2013

Round 8 (R8), Phase (P) 2 (wonky food menu), Day (D) 11 of 23

This Round sucks.  I'm sorry if that word offends you, but I can't think of a better way to say it.  I have never, in 7 other Rounds, worked this hard at being perfectly on plan (POP) and had such little results.  Literally, it is the worst Rounds for weight loss in all 8 Rounds.  Here's how it has been -- each weigh in so far:

Day 1 was the weight I start at (it's the weight that I register after the 3 days of load, so no loss, which is normal).

Day 2 loss = 4.7

Day 3 loss = 3.2

Day 4 loss = 1.5

Day 5 loss = 0.4

Day 6 loss = 0.2

Day 7 loss = 0.1

Day 8 loss = 0.5

Day 9 loss = +1.9

Day 10 loss = 3.2

Day 11 loss = +1.4

Yep.  ANOTHER gain.

I did an Apple Day on Monday, after waking up to a 1.9 pound gain.  Lost 3.2 the next day (yippee) and promptly gained back 1.4 of that today.  How?  I have no idea.  I'm eating the foods I should (NO cheating), I've cut out all lotions, etc., like I should (and have in every other Round).  I'm not mixing my veggies, eating extra portions of meat, and I was drinking over 120 ounces of liquid (non-sugary) a day.

Go figure.

By Day 11 in every other Round, I had lost this:

Round 1 Day 11 lost = 16.4 pounds
Round 2 Day 11 lost = 13.1 pounds
Round 3 Day 11 lost = 14.7 pounds
Round 4 Day 11 lost = 15.5 pounds
Round 5 Day 11 lost = 13.9 pounds
Round 6 Day 11 lost = 13.7 pounds
Round 7 Day 11 lost = 14.9 pounds
Round 8 Day 11 lost = 10.5 pounds

Yep.  See, I'm not kidding.  This Round SUCKS.  What's really frustrating, is this is usually right around where the weight loss stops for a week to 10 days.  I feel like that's exactly where I've already been.  So what faces me ahead?  The desert of weight loss? 

Yet, I press on.  I cannot give up, even when I feel like this is completely futile.  I'm still making up MAJOR ground here.  Blargh. 

See, I need prayer.  I prayed for strength before I got on the scale this morning (the words of 2 Chronicles 20:15b came to mind -- "Do not be dismayed or discouraged because of this vast army, because the battle is not yours, but God's" -- that brought me so much comfort last year when the job felt like it was closing in -- and believe me, it's no easier now, I'm just used to it) ... and saw the gain.  I barely thought about it, but since I am facing dinner (and ate the same lunch I had yesterday, albeit, a little less tomato), I'm starting to feel fearful.  And I know I shouldn't fear.  I just literally have no idea what I can do.  Besides, keep on keeping on. 

So, would you pray for me?

R8P2D1/23 -- Out with the old ...

R(ound) 8, P(hase) 2, D(ay) 1 of 23

July 7, 2013

Before I get started, I am giving a shout out to my Grandpa, whose 103rd birthday was yesterday.  He's in Heaven, celebrating it in the best way possible (with Jesus).  I thought I'd post one of my favorite pictures of him (that I have electronically) here.  Why is it my favorite? Because it's a picture of him (30 years ago), on his birthday, doing what he always did.  Hugging my sister (on the right) and me (on the left), sitting there all snuggled up.  That happy look on his face.  I understand that now that I have beloved children in my life, whom I am happy just to be around.  That's what Grandpa was like.   So, happy birthday, Grandpa!  If you feel like reading more about him, please check out his website (http://elmermking.com/).

So, back to my weight-loss (or anti-weight-loss) journey of late.  Today, I start back into the P2 (or wonky food, as I call it) phase.  I am SOOOOO ready.  When I weighed myself this morning, I have basically erased almost 30 pounds of weight loss.  I'm ashamed to admit that, but isn't that what this blog is for?  NO MORE HIDING.

I gave up and ate SO MUCH JUNK for the last month.  Seriously.  JUNK.  June was Junk Food month, evidently.  July has been business trip junk food and loading food (I don't feel ashamed about the loading food).  SO, I have a LOT of ground to make up.  But, make it up, I will.  It's tough love time for me.  I'm loving myself enough to say, "THAT'S IT!  Back on the wagon, you petulant girl."  On the wagon I go.  It's going to be a LONG ride.  23 days of P2 eating, then on July 30, it'll be 3 weeks of P3 eating (proteins only).  I'm only giving myself 4 days of P4 (which is basically P3 + a little extra) and then, right back into loading and R9.  Almost 30 days of P2.  That means, I'm going to be spending the rest of the summer, and the early part of the Autumn not eating what I want, but what I need to lose this weight I found again + the weight I have wanted to lose but seem to rubber band back from over and over.  I'm doing it.  Do you hear me, cravings?  I'M DOING IT with God's help (and your encouragement).

SO, be prepared to read some posts that are less than excited and encouraging.  I'm looking at 3 months of restricted, non-yummy-eat-what-sounds-good food.  And, I'm excited about it.  Mostly.  I feel like this must be about what pregnant women feel like.  It's exciting to think about the changes that are coming -- and a bit frightening at the same time.  Will I be able to handle the 3 months of morning sickness (eating little amounts of food)?  Will I be able to handle the physical changes that will come?  Will I be able to handle the pain of childbirth (MAJOR food cravings when I am on yet another business trip)?  I can with the Lord.  So, here goes.

I almost said, "Here goes nothing," but that's not true.  This is going to work.  Because God has given me strength to see it through for over 1.5 years, and get back on that wagon and begin again.  So, I'm on the wagon.  And, I'm ready.  Let's roll!

R7P4D?? -- I am starting this again in a week!

Round 7 (R7) Phase 4 (P4) Day (D) something of something

June 30, 2013

I have no idea what day I'm on in P4 (eat what you want), because, I have been eating what I want for WAY too long.  The thought, here, is to eat what you want only on rare occasions.  I've taken that and run with it.  I've been going to a lot of baseball games for one of my nephews, spending a lot of time with them (filling in the gap that they have right now in their lives), I was on a business trip last week and will be again this week, and again and again in the coming months.  In short, I've been eating crap (sorry, if that word offends you, but that's what it is) a lot.  I've decided, business trip or not, I'm starting this again.  I've erased ALL of R7 weight loss.  Lovely.

But, instead of kicking myself, I'm going to say (to myself, and you since you are reading this), "PICK YOURSELF UP AND BEGIN WHERE YOU ARE TODAY."  The thought of "beginning again" makes my stomach hurt.  That feels like I'm starting all over.  I'm not.  I'm 70 pounds down.  But, I'm not 90 pounds down.

True confession -- I've been eating fast food (my bane), because I'm exhausted.  It's a crutch and I know it.  I don't like what it makes me feel like, but I LOVE that I don't have to think.  I can go on, "What sounds good."  Then, once I devour it and feel like garbage, I think, "WHY?!"  So, I'm giving myself this week (I load on July 4 - 6), and then, business trip or not, I'm taking my drops with me, and packing my food choices, and off I go.  If I don't have to go back to Ohio (after this week) for several weeks, then PERFECT.  I'll be home and doing what I should be doing.  If I have to go, I will explain to those business associates with me that I'm really restricted on what I can eat, and I have packed my food.  I'm going to eat what I bring.  Caterpillar will get off pretty easy on the expense of sending me, let me tell you.

Here's the thing -- I've GOT to do this.  I've said it before.  You've seen me say it before.  I'm not giving up.  I'm not buying a whole new wardrobe.  I'm not going to get used to seeing myself this way.  NO WAY.  I'm losing it (the weight, not my sanity).  I feel completely sane in this choice.  I'm not going to let myself get derailed BY MYSELF choosing to be lazy or wallow in exhaustion.

My plan is, make it through the Ohio trip (LONG story, which I won't / shouldn't-for-the-sake-of-the-company go into about why I'm going and on the hook to maybe go again and again in the next few months) this week.  Then, I start Round 8 -- loading over the July 4 weekend, and starting P2 on Sunday, July 7.  I have to get in my days of drops, and three days of P2 without drops, which will bring me into P3 on July 30.  I will be in P3 (proteins only) for 3 weeks in August, 4 days (only) of P4, and I'm RIGHT back into Round 9 in late August (August 23 - 25 to be exact).  I am going to power through it.  That's all there is to it.  I have GOT to get this weight back off, stabilize in P3, and then, basically skip P4 and get back into it to get past this plateau that I keep having.  I think I'm really getting down to a weight that my body isn't used to, because it wants to bounce me right back to where I am today.  NO THANK YOU.  SO, my thought is, if I stabilize in P3, and skip P4 (which is totally legal in this program), and start losing again, I will get myself into numbers I've not seen in 18 years, AND past this mark on the scale that my body seems to want to stick at.

So, that's about it.  Happy June.  Here's to a thinner July (after a few days of getting squishier) and a MUCH more stable August.

R7P3D20/21 -- Lessons about God from a 7-year-old

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Round 7 (R7), Phase 3 (P3) Proteins, Day 20 of 21

It's been a while.  Sorry about that.  Plugging right along.  I'm a little up (about 4 pounds) from Last Dosage Weight (LDW), but I'm not worried.  Last week was my Gram's (Mom's Mom) 99th birthday, and my Grandpa's (Dad's Dad) 98th birthday.  Grandpa died 2 days after he turned 98.  So, on top of a week's vacation, I had yard work, birthday celebrations and life celebrations for two nonagenarians (90-year-olds).

But, aside from that, something happened last night that I just have to share, before the memory of it flies out of my head.

Last night, as I was wrapping up my evening of Aunt time with Samuel & Ben which consisted of Bicycle Safety Town, DQ small ice cream cones (for them) & listening to their favorite, tried & true Sunday School songs while cruising in my car (they were both singing along, which made MY heart sing), I got an enthusiastic hug from Ben (4). That's not surprising, as he is probably the happiest, most carefree child I know (and that's saying a lot). Samuel (7), on the other hand, is a wild card. Sometimes he's reserved & other times, he's Mr. Wrestle-Me-To-The-Ground-When-Hugging-Me (I'm not kidding, he actually has knocked me off of my feet!).

Well, last night, after one of the longest, non-"wrestly" hugs I've ever received from him (he wouldn't let go ... not dramatically, just really, really hugging me for a long time).  I guess I was speaking his love language yesterday.  Anyway, I told him I loved him (like I always do when I say goodnight to kiddies) & we discussed when I will see him again.  He smiled, sweetly (again, not his usual "wrestly" self), and turned to go back into the house.  Suddenly, he stopped and abruptly turned back to me.  He took his hands out of his pockets and I could tell there was something in them as he outstretched them to me. "Aunt Julia?" he said, almost sheepishly. "Yeah, Buddy?" I replied.  "Here, I want you to have these."  He quickly thrust three little "somethings" into my hand.  When I opened up my hand, I saw what they were -- three little pieces of candy that look like white, speckled Sprees (I have no idea what they are).   He mumbled, "I've been saving these for a special time later. But, I want you to have them."  I thanked him and told him he didn't have to give them to me.  He insisted, "No, I want you to have them. They are special."  Those three pieces of candy meant a lot to that little 7-year-old.  And, they mean the world to this 41-year-old, because he offered them to me freely, when I didn't even know they were there.  Yes, they most certainly are special.  He wanted to give me something, like I had given him somethings all night.  Who am I to deny him the pleasure of giving that I get when I give to others? 

I just found those three little pieces of candy tucked away and it reminded me to share this story, before it fades into the oblivion and business of the day.  I have put them in a special place, so when I see them again, I'll remember this story.  I'm sharing it with you so I won't forget, and so maybe Samuel's gift and the lesson I gleaned from it might resonate with one of you.  Here is the lesson ...

I think the joy I felt in receiving Samuel's gift (that had no real monetary value, but was priceless to me because I know how much they meant to him) must be how God feels about my meager sacrifices (time, money, attitude) that I give to Him.  It's nothing compared to what He has given me (life, health, love, happiness, the world) and the price He has paid (His life for my salvation).  But, He willingly, and with joy the Bible says, accepts my gifts of love and gives back in ten-twenty-million-fold.  And, that makes me want to give Him more.  It took three little pieces of candy from a beloved 7-year-old for me to really realize that lesson today. 

I'm grateful.

R7P2D10/34 -- Blog Shmog

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Round 7 (R7), Phase 2 (P2) Very Low Calorie Day (VLCD) 10 of 34

I am hungry.  I am also a little angry (at some incompetence at work).  Therefore, I'm pretty certain I'm not really hungry.  I'm just wanting to "jaz it up" today with a little popcorn or whatever.  But, I really don't want to jaz it up.  I want to keep losing weight.  So, I press on.

Has it really been a month since I wrote last?  Holy crickets, it has.  I was flying into India a month ago today.  And, I weighed right what I do right now.  So, 9 days of P2 eating (plus a 4 day -- yes 4 day P1 load) and I'm right back where I started.  Yep, I gained while I was there.  But, I didn't gain as much as I had dreaded, AND, I lost it when I got home (almost).  Then, a week later, when I loaded, I gained it back (big surprise!).  So, I've gotten it off (almost, just a few ounces above).  And now, I'm in the "dreaded" stand-still week.  Week 2.  I had the best Week 1 of P2 ever (14.2 off in a week), but now, for the last 3 days, I've stayed exactly the same.  No problem.  It's bound to happen.  It's all about keeping a good attitude, and through the good attitude, prayer, and good choices, I'll make it the rest of the 24 days.  It'll be over with in no time.  And, right around the time I end R7P2, it will reach the one year mark on this new job.  Which seems amazing and daunting at the same time.  Have I really been here a year?  Have I really been doing HCG for almost 1.5 years?  Good grief!  Shouldn't I be at my weight-loss goal?  Shouldn't I be in a different (not dreaded) job yet?

Nope, I should be right where I am today. 

But why?

Because God has allowed me to be here.  There's a reason.  There are many reasons.  I won't go into all of them (many of you have heard them).  But, as far as the weight loss, I am where I am (no, I am not Popeye), because I'm at a place where my body has stalled in the past.  Besides inching a little below this at the end of a P2 cycle, I don't seem to be able to stick it in the decade below.  Why?  Because my body has stayed in this decade for months at a time.  It's stayed in the lower decade for days (in the last 20 years).  It's used to this decade. 

That's why I have made this round a MAMMOTH round (34 days).  I'm going to force my body into realizing that I mean business.  I'm also going to do a LOOOOONG (the longest) P4 (eating in moderation after stabilizing in P3) I've ever done.  I think it's 74 days.  That means, I won't have travel, or a fast turn around into another P2 to distract me from the prize -- stabilizing.  I'm going to ease into this like an old man into a hot bath.  In other words, slowly. 

But, before I can ease into the warm bath of P3, I have to make it through the mud and grime of P2.  So, here I am, knee deep in it.  If I can handle flying around the world by myself, and eating snake, duck tongue and piglet skin, and walking barefoot in a Hindu temple, and picking up a cockroach & throwing it out of the cab with my bare fingers, and being monitored (yes, I heard people in the duct work) in China, I can do this. 

I'm about at the 1/2 way mark before I can bail (which, I'm not going to, Lord-willing).  If you'll remember, the moment you start drops (P2 is the only time you take drops and eat only 500 calories of very specific food a day), you have to keep taking them for 21 days, or your body will gain back anything you've lost and then some.  Don't ask me.  It's a hormone thing.  So, I have to go for another 11 days (unlike others, I don't count my loading days of P1 as part of my drop days ... I count 21 days of P2 eating as my P2 required 21 days) before I can officially "quit."  But, I'm not a quitter.  If I was, I'd be unemployed (I would have quit this job in a New York minute), 450 pounds, defaulting on my student loans and living in a cardboard box in some warm climate.

But, I'm in this to win this.  I'm not bailing at 21 days.  I don't care how angry I am at stalling (I believe I'm in a stall right now, but I'm not angry).  I don't care how hungry my mind thinks it is (note, once you've been on HCG, it's easy to tell the difference between brain hunger and stomach hunger -- mine is almost always brain hunger).  I really, REALLY don't care how bored I get with P2 food.  I must press on.

Okay, so here comes the analogy part.  (Readers, switch off paying attention now.) 

We all know, I'm not a parent (I am, however, very apparent!).  But, I equate P2 with the beginning part of parenthood.  It's when you are the freshest, excited about what your life is becoming, eager to see the person you are getting ready to birth, and the biggest novice about where your life is headed.  What will it feel like to live on 2 hours of sleep (500 calories of food a day)?  Will you make good choices as a parent (dieter)?  Will you want to give the child back (quit) after a few days?  You read all of the books (check), get advice from people who have done it all before you (check) and plan until ... well, you have the baby (start the diet).  But, until you dive in and get in the middle of the mess (poop and puke and pacifiers vs. chopping veggies and watching others eat your favorite foods), you don't really know how YOUR journey will be.  And, with each child (like each Round), you find out something different.  This child (Round) reacts this way.  That child (Round) reacted that way.  That's where I am.  I'm on Round (child?) 7.  :-)  And, if I've learned anything, it's that all of the planning in the world is not enough.  It helps, but you can't plan away change.  It happens regardless of the best laid plans.

So, yes.  I've shed some of the same weight again and again (this is the 3rd time with some of these pounds).  But, at the top of the scale in this journey, I'd lost and regained the first 20-30 pounds probably 5 times (and that's a conservative guess).  I'm at a point in my journey (just over 2/3 done with where I want to be) and at a weight that I have never gotten below (except for my the grace of God using HCG).  It's going to take a while to teach my body that I am serious.  And I am serious.  I'm not going to let it go back up without fighting it back down.  Just watch out, body.  You're in for it.  :-)

I know you scoffers are looking at me and thinking, "This is proof that it doesn't work."  But, I'm here to say, all diets (including those you, my dear readers, have been on) fail if you take your eye off of the prize.  I feel like a "winner" with this diet (even though I'm re-losing 20 pounds for the 3rd time) because I have NEVER stuck with any diet plan for longer than 6 months.  THAT alone means it's working.  I've also lost 85 pounds.  At the worst, I've lost 70 pounds.  That's still a small person.  And, that's a person I'm hoping I'll never know again.  In my heart, I've completely divorced that person. I've even dumped all of her old clothes.  Try moving back into this body when you have nothing to wear, old self!

So, please keep checking back, from time to time, to see if I'm staying the course.  I won't be blogging a lot (let's face it, what more do I have to say that I haven't already said about HCG).  No matter what phase I'm in, I weigh in every day and record it in My Fitness Pal (which is what feeds that little ticker up there), even if I don't like what the scale shows.  I want to be transparent, because I'm just competitive enough (with myself only -- I know I can do better) that I will keep fighting the good fight.  You can check up on me and see if I'm slipping.  And, if I am, you have my permission to check in on me and say something like, "I see you're becoming a big fat slob again ..." Wait.  No, not that.  How about, "I saw your ticker is moving to the left.  Anything I can do to encourage you?"  I'll probably make some snarky comment about myself being bad at this, but that's when I'll need you to remind me that it's about the journey, not the destination.  Because, in the middle of the journey, all I can think about is the destination.  And, sometimes, that makes navigation a bit of a chore. 

R6P4D5/26 -- Hoping for dystentery!

March 7, 2013

Round 6 (R6), Phase 4 (everything in moderation), Day 5 of 26

Well, here I go.  Tomorrow (Friday, March 8), at exactly 2:30 p.m., I begin my 24 hour trip to India.  I'll fly out of O'Hare at 6-ish p.m., and head to Frankfurt, Germany (can I stay longer than my 3 hour layover, PLEASE?!?!).  From there, I will head to Bangalore, India.  They are 10.5 hours ahead (starting on Sunday, Central time, after we spring ahead).  So, if you're wondering what time it is where I am, add 11, then subtract 30 minutes.  That's my time.  I'll be there from Saturday (U.S. time) until Wednesday morning (U.S. time).  Then, I fly to Singapore.  I'll be there until Friday morning (U.S. time).  It's like a blip in my trip, but, probably the most exotic and fun place.  Then, starting on Friday morning (around 11 Central U.S.), I'll fly to China.  I'll remain in Shanghai until Thursday, March 21.

I'm going to be doing a lot of presenting (about Diversity & Communications) and learning a lot (lots of facility and city tours, business meetings, etc.).  I plan on taking a LOT of pictures and (maybe) video.  I also plan on Skyping and Factiming (for you people with Apple products).  I DON'T plan on sleeping a lot.  Unfortunately.  Because, it's one of my top 10 favorite things to do.  But, I'll be in meetings (or sightseeing with coworkers from each city) from 8 a.m. - 9 p.m. each night.  So, if I want to talk to my loved ones (which, you know I do!), I'm going to trade in sleep for love.  That's a trade I'm happy to make.  I've made that trade many times before, and am happy to do it, international travel or not.  :-)

I bought a travel scale so I can continue to weigh myself every day while I'm there.  I expect, with being in the air a total of 48 hours in 2 weeks, and another maybe 12 in layovers, that my body is going to be in shock.  Is it wrong for me to hope for dysentery so I don't gain weight while I'm gone?  :-)  Most people (who aren't doing HCG) gain about 7-10 pounds on a business trip (hosts LOVE taking visitors out for meals).  My plan is to pick at my food (even though I LOVE Indian and Chinese food) and try to eat mostly the protein (even if it's in sauce ... a girl's gotta eat).  Caterpillar is putting me up in some swanky 5 Star hotels in each city, to they are supposed to have wonderful breakfast buffets, so I'm going to eat my weight (probably not) in eggs.  That should sustain me most of the day.  So, maybe I'll lose weight.

Maybe I'll get dystentery in India.  Is it wrong for me to hope for that, so I can lose some weight? 

My plan is to correct the day I come home (even though that's going to be the day the Hobbit is released on DVD and I'll be watching it with friends that night), so I can get my weight down a bit.  Then, by the next weekend (Easter weekend), I'm going to load (Round 7, here I come!), and start up P2 again.  That should get me safely out of the 200s.  If I don't gain a TON in Asia.  Lord, help me. 

Oh, and yes, you did just read that.  I admitted I'm STILL in the 200s.  Big surprise, for any of you who have seen me.  I'm 5'8" and I'm still hanging on in the 200s.  Frankly, I'm sick of those.  I like odd numbers (what can I say, I'm an odd person).  And, I VERY MUCH dislike even numbers when it comes to the starting number on my weight.  So, here's to Round 7 (odd number) getting me into another odd number (the 190s).

My plan is to blog while I'm gone, upload some pics, etc., to keep you guys traveling with me.  Hopefully, I can get on line.  I know China locks down Facebook, but only in pockets, so maybe I can be out there too.  So, stay tuned!  And, please pray for travel mercies.  I'm not worried about dying (not at all ... I have the security of heaven, and who doesn't want to end up there?!).  I'm worried about getting quaranteened in India because of some stupid reason (they do that a lot), or getting my luggage stolen or lost, or not getting through customs.  So, travel mercies, please.

And maybe dystentery.

R6P2D27/28 - Speaking through Lewis

February 8, 2013

R6 (Round 6), P2 (Phase 2), Very Low Calorie Day (VLCD) 27 of 28

I have had a devotional book on my desk at work for the past 2 years (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, and Jesus Calling). This year, I'm re-reading a book I got for Christmas one year from Linda and John ... "A Year with C.S. Lewis, daily reading from his classic works." I read it in 2005, and now, 8 years later, I am dusting it off again. It's profound. I have (and have read) every scrap of writing from Mr. Lewis, but, there's something fun about opening these pages and having something from Screwtape pop up one day, and Mere Christianity the next.

Today, I don't have much else to say besides passing along two very splendid things I read in the last two days by C.S. Lewis, who is, without a doubt, my most favorite of favorite authors (not counting God, of course).  I think Lewis was divinely inspired to uncover some of the hard-to-understand truths about faith in God, and he uncovers them with words.  I can't wait to meet Mr. Lewis someday.  I hope you'll be with me, too.

"Authority exercised with humility and obedience accepted with delight are the very lines along which our spirits live ... in the Body of Christ, we step outside that world which says, 'I am as good as you.'  It's like turning from a march to a dance ... We become, as Chesteron said, taller when we bow."  C.S. Lewis, "The Weight of Glory."

Here's another one.  This is from Mere Christianity (this is a WONDERFUL explanation about what the Trinity is, how to understand it, and, frankly, an answer to the question from non-believing intellectuals, "How can an intelligent person can believe in such rubbish?"):

"The union between the Father and the Son is such a live concrete thing that this union itself is also a Person.  I know this is almost inconceivable, but look at it thus.  You know that among human beings, when they get together in a family, or a club, or a trade union, people talk about the 'spirit' of that family, or club, or trade union.  They talk about its 'spirit' because the individual members, when they are together, do really develop particular ways of talking and behaving which they would not have if they were apart.  It is as if a sort of communal personality came into existence.  Of course, it is not a real person:  it is only rather like a person.  But that is just one of the differences between God and us.  What grows out of the joint life of the Father and Son is a real Person, is in fact the Third of the three Persons who are God.

This third Person is called, in technical language, the Holy Ghost or the 'spirit' of God.  Do not be worried or surprised if you find it (or Him) rather vaguer or more shadowy in your mind that the other two.  I think there is a reason why it must be so.  In the Christian life you are not usually looking at Him.  He is always acting through you.  If you think of the Father as something 'out there,' in front of you, and of the Son as someone standing at your side, helping you to pray, trying to turn you into another son, then you have to think of the third Person as something inside you, or behind you.  Perhaps some people might find it easier to begin with the third Person and work backwards.  God is love, and that love works through men -- especially through the whole community of Christians.  But this spirit of love is, from all eternity, a love going on between the Father and the Son."

R6P2D26/28 -- And, so it begins ...

February 7, 2013

Round 6 (R6), Phase 2 (P2) Very Low Calorie Day (VLCD) 26/28

Yep, you didn't read that wrong.  I ran out of drops, so I'm ending this a day before "plan" -- but, actually, I planned it.  That's the joy that's me.  I switch gears in the middle of driving with almost no second glance.  I decided it was better for me to do a mountain of P3 (protein eating) cooking on Sunday where I could actually taste what I was cooking (for instance, to be able to make sure the seasoning is right).  It also could be torture to cook all of that yummy food (like cauliflower cheese bake, deep dish pizza quiche, tuna, chocolate mug cake ... all modified to take the carbs out) on my last day of P2.

To refresh your memory, for those of you reading this who have never done HCG and think my blogs consist mainly of Ps and Rs and HCGs and LDWs, I'll explain.  Briefly, don't worry.

• P = Phase (Phase 1 is loading/gorging for 3 days while you take drops and let them build up in your system ... you gain usually between 2 - 5 pounds during this time, but it drops RIGHT off in the first day or two of Phase 2.  Phase 2 is eating 500 calories, from a very locked down food list, taking HCG drops and losing weight.  Phase 3 is eating only meat, vegetable and fruit carbs and maintaining within 2 pounds up or down of your LDW -- see below.  Phase 4 is eating what you want in moderation ... this was my bane last time ... that and steroids and "Hobbit" movie theater popcorn.)
• R = Rounds (You can do as many of these as you want.  It means all 4 Phases.  I have completed all 4 Phases almost 6 times, which means, I'm ready to start P3 in 2 days, and P4 in 3 weeks.  I plan on completing 7-8 Rounds by the end.)
• HCG = the drops and the "program" of eating (no to low carb) forever.(You only take the homeopathic drops in P2, and it's the only time you lose weight)
• LDW = Last Dosage Weight (This is the weigh in on the morning that you take or your drops -- or, the morning after you have taken your last drops -- there's some debate about that.  I'm counting today, the morning after my last drops, as my LDW.  You still have to eat the 500 calories in P2, but can up it to 800 with an extra portion or two of protein, because you are getting the drops out of your system.  It can be touch and go, because a lot of people get very hungry towards the end of these three days.)  
• CD = correction day (This is practiced on the day when the scale shows you have gone 2.1 above your LDW.  There are some moderations on a CD, but Dr. Simeons only talked about and approved a steak day, which means, eating up to a 26 ounce steak and 1 big tomato, any time after 3 pm.  The weight will be off the next morning.  You have to start your 21 days of P3 over again.  Well, you should.  I didn't in R1-R4.  I didn't have a correction day in R5, so that's my goal this time.)

Those last 3 days in P2 without the drops can be a little, welll, mind bending.  Really, this diet is all mental.  It's about telling figuring things out, analyzing, sticking to a schedule, planning, cooking, and talking yourself out of things that are bad for you.  I'm good at it about 75% of the time.  I think I'll do okay with P3 this time (I have a plan -- you know how I love those).  P4 scares me a bit.  In fact, I could use some prayer about it.  I'll have less than 1 week in P4 before I travel to Germany (just the airport), India, Singapore and Shanghai in March.  That means a solid 2 weeks (weekends included) of business dinners.  Ruh roh.  My plan is to eat well for breakfast (evidently, all 3 of the hotels I am staying in for work are "5 star" so they are supposed to have excellent breakfast buffets where I can load up on eggs).  I'm packing protein bars (my very-well-traveled boss told me those are invaluable and pro-biotics), so I can have those for lunch, if I have to (I guess ... hello, Red-Green, from the Red-Green show).  They are rather "carb-y" too (go figure, for protein bars), but it's better than noodles or rice or anything with an unidentifiable sauce.

I think my biggest "problem" will be mentally.  I LOVE travel.  I don't let myself do it much, because I can always find more practical (or fun, around the home) things on which I spend my money.  But, when I do travel, it feels like a party.  I obviously LOVE food, and part of that "travel party" is eating fun (read that as TERRIBLE for you) food.  Here I am, going to parts of the world that are exotic and I may never travel to again.  I LOVE Indian food.  I LOVE Chinese food.  And, I'm going to be low-carbing it.  I'll also probably be a little lonely in those 2 weeks (I love my peeps, as you all know).  And, I'll be EXHAUSTED.  Lots of flight time.  The flight home is 14 hours straight from Shanghai to O'Hare.  All of that is a recipe for a food disaster in Julia world.  But, I have God to give me strength.  And, I know, it's progress, not perfection.  I'm already figuring I'll do one correction day the day I return (all of those noodles and sauces ... there is no way I'm coming home without the usual 5-7 pound work travel gain).  But, I'm doing ONE.  After that, for the next week, I'll eat clean.  And, start R7 with loading on March 29-31. 

So, here's my heart.  I cannot, just CANNOT stomach (pun intended) the thought of re-losing this weight a THIRD time.  Blarghhhh.  Yes, December was wonky for me.  I threw in the towel several times in the beginning of the month, and fully THRUST it in with verve by the middle of December.  And, here I am, R6 LDW day at only 1.9 pounds below R5 LDW day.  26 days of P2 and that's what I have to show for it.  Now, don't despair for me.  I'm THRILLED (I actually did a WOO HOO, arms in the air shout while standing on the scale this morning -- I'm glad I live alone) that I'm below R5LDW.  It was touch and go there for a bit about if I'd actually be able to get here.  But, that's my point.  Normally, it IS touch and go at the end.  But, when you're in new territory, it's SO okay.  You're getting into new clothes.  People notice a difference.  It makes all of the effort and hard work, well, more worth it.  It gives some needed "oompf" to the last part of P2, which feels like drudgery, let me tell you.  Well, when you're re-losing weight, it's like a race against yourself.  And, that is no fun.

I can't do that again.

I'm praying THAT, and maybe only that, will keep my big, gaping maw shut in Asia, when I'm feeling lonely.  Or sad.  Or tired.  Or like celebrating.

Oh, and one more thing.  I now have Facetime set up on my Mac, iPad and iPhone (thank you, Lisa, Dad, Linda and Kate for testing with me).  Anyone who has an apple product, and wants to Facetime with me, send me an email, text me, whatever, and we can exchange Facetime emails so we can Facetime for free (I swear, I feel like I'm living in an episode of the Jetsons).  Also, I have set up a Skype account (for those of you who don't have an Apple product).  If you have an account, or want to set one up (they are free, you just need internet capability), we can talk on that too.

Alrighty.  I think that's about it for now.  This is like the War and Peace blog entry.  War (with weight) and Peace (with well, everything else).  Ah.  All is right with the world.

R6P2D16 of 29 - Love connection

January 28, 2013

Round 6 (R6), Phase 2 (P2) Very Low Calorie Day (VLCD) 16 of 29

Well, you asked for it.  Here's my "date" overview in 100 words or less.  I survived.  I didn't kvetch or hyperventilate on my way there.  He didn't have a machete.  Score!

I can't speak for him other than what he wrote to me afterwards and what he tried to do -- and was rebuffed by me -- as the 2 hour non-"date" in the middle of the day drew to its close.  But, I can say, for my part, I am very content to keep him as a minor part (if at all) in my life.  Was that diplomatic enough?  

I'm sure some of my readers are rolling their eyes, thinking I'm looking for some vapid movie-star look alike (I assure you, I am not), or that I want someone to make big bucks (again, nope), or be smart like Einstein (thank you, no, I'd like to be able to keep up intellectually).   I want someone who loves Jesus, has a compassionate heart, has some brains in his head, holds down a steady job (even if I make more money than him), can hold a conversation and has maybe 3 things he likes that I like (outside of Jesus and food, so we'll make that five things). 

Okay, enough of the love (dis)connection.

Back to food.  I had a good weekend of weight loss, and this morning, awoke to a 2 pound gain.  It's official, the full moon makes me gain (regardless of the Phase I'm in).  This is the 6th Round where I've seen it again and again.  So, I press on, joyfully.  I think I read that somewhere.  ;-) (It's in the Bible, just in case you didn't know).

That's about all I have to say today.  It seems like a good night for a book (Cranford), a cup of tea and a fire in the fireplace.  Maybe I'll paint my nails.  My old stand-by.