Round 8, Phase 2, Day 13 of 23
July 19, 2013
Thanks for praying for me. I felt a real peace the rest of the day, and, it has continued. I'm not just saying that because my weight loss picked up in the next two weigh-ins. I'm saying that because I feel peaceful and not afraid. I attribute that to prayer. Thank you, Lord (and you for praying). Sometimes, when one is so close to something, it is difficult to pray in exactly the way that is needed because fear clouds our minds. I'm grateful God put it on my heart to ask for help. Because I felt uplifted. What a gift.
After posting last time (on Wednesday), I had the owner of Miracle Skinny Drops (the drops I use) reach out to me in a private FB message saying she wanted me to send her my stats -- menus, everything -- so she could help me see if I was doing anything wrong. She confirmed that I wasn't (Johnson & Johnson's baby oil is fine, the spices I used were fine, the menus I have been been eating are spot on). THAT lifted a burden (I can't tell you how mental this is, until you actually DO this diet). Then, she suggested, based on the number of Rounds I have done, that I should up my hHCG drops from 80 a day to 90. Now, before you cynics out there say she's trying to make more money, let me assure you, I see on their private FB page that they give all sorts of free advice to all sorts of people (those using injections of the actual hormone, to those using other homeopathic HCG providers, to those like me who use their own). They are Christians, they help people (like me) lose weight, and I am confident in their counsel.
So, I did up my drops on Wednesday by 10 drops. The next morning, the scale showed I dropped 2 pounds. Yesterday, I took the same number of drops, and this morning, I dropped another 1.8 pounds. This is the type of weight loss I should have been seeing in the first week, not at Day 12 & 13 when the weight loss drops to nothing.
So, my only conclusion is, after 8 Rounds, I guess it was time to up my dose. I suppose I'll need to up the dose again in Round 10 in January. Round 9 is the end of August-September.
Anyway, I'm back in the window (at the bottom of the window, but it's opening), and I'm feeling calm. THAT is huge. And, fortunately, thanks to Shawna at Miracle Skinny Drops, your prayers, and of course, God (the one to whom the arrow in the picture above is pointing), I am NOT as huge today as I was 2 days ago. :-)
I hope you enjoy reading about my weight-loss journey: the good, the bad and the ugly (but, I hope, not for long)!
Friday, July 19, 2013
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
R8P2D11 of 23 -- I need prayer
July 17, 2013
Round 8 (R8), Phase (P) 2 (wonky food menu), Day (D) 11 of 23
This Round sucks. I'm sorry if that word offends you, but I can't think of a better way to say it. I have never, in 7 other Rounds, worked this hard at being perfectly on plan (POP) and had such little results. Literally, it is the worst Rounds for weight loss in all 8 Rounds. Here's how it has been -- each weigh in so far:
Day 1 was the weight I start at (it's the weight that I register after the 3 days of load, so no loss, which is normal).
Yep. ANOTHER gain.
I did an Apple Day on Monday, after waking up to a 1.9 pound gain. Lost 3.2 the next day (yippee) and promptly gained back 1.4 of that today. How? I have no idea. I'm eating the foods I should (NO cheating), I've cut out all lotions, etc., like I should (and have in every other Round). I'm not mixing my veggies, eating extra portions of meat, and I was drinking over 120 ounces of liquid (non-sugary) a day.
Go figure.
By Day 11 in every other Round, I had lost this:
Round 1 Day 11 lost = 16.4 pounds
Round 2 Day 11 lost = 13.1 pounds
Round 3 Day 11 lost = 14.7 pounds
Round 4 Day 11 lost = 15.5 pounds
Round 5 Day 11 lost = 13.9 pounds
Round 6 Day 11 lost = 13.7 pounds
Round 7 Day 11 lost = 14.9 pounds
Round 8 Day 11 lost = 10.5 pounds
Yep. See, I'm not kidding. This Round SUCKS. What's really frustrating, is this is usually right around where the weight loss stops for a week to 10 days. I feel like that's exactly where I've already been. So what faces me ahead? The desert of weight loss?
Yet, I press on. I cannot give up, even when I feel like this is completely futile. I'm still making up MAJOR ground here. Blargh.
See, I need prayer. I prayed for strength before I got on the scale this morning (the words of 2 Chronicles 20:15b came to mind -- "Do not be dismayed or discouraged because of this vast army, because the battle is not yours, but God's" -- that brought me so much comfort last year when the job felt like it was closing in -- and believe me, it's no easier now, I'm just used to it) ... and saw the gain. I barely thought about it, but since I am facing dinner (and ate the same lunch I had yesterday, albeit, a little less tomato), I'm starting to feel fearful. And I know I shouldn't fear. I just literally have no idea what I can do. Besides, keep on keeping on.
So, would you pray for me?
Round 8 (R8), Phase (P) 2 (wonky food menu), Day (D) 11 of 23
This Round sucks. I'm sorry if that word offends you, but I can't think of a better way to say it. I have never, in 7 other Rounds, worked this hard at being perfectly on plan (POP) and had such little results. Literally, it is the worst Rounds for weight loss in all 8 Rounds. Here's how it has been -- each weigh in so far:
Day 1 was the weight I start at (it's the weight that I register after the 3 days of load, so no loss, which is normal).
| Day 2 loss = 4.7 |
| Day 3 loss = 3.2 |
| Day 4 loss = 1.5 |
| Day 5 loss = 0.4 |
| Day 6 loss = 0.2 |
| Day 7 loss = 0.1 |
| Day 8 loss = 0.5 |
| Day 9 loss = +1.9 |
| Day 10 loss = 3.2 |
| Day 11 loss = +1.4 |
Yep. ANOTHER gain.
I did an Apple Day on Monday, after waking up to a 1.9 pound gain. Lost 3.2 the next day (yippee) and promptly gained back 1.4 of that today. How? I have no idea. I'm eating the foods I should (NO cheating), I've cut out all lotions, etc., like I should (and have in every other Round). I'm not mixing my veggies, eating extra portions of meat, and I was drinking over 120 ounces of liquid (non-sugary) a day.
Go figure.
By Day 11 in every other Round, I had lost this:
Round 1 Day 11 lost = 16.4 pounds
Round 2 Day 11 lost = 13.1 pounds
Round 3 Day 11 lost = 14.7 pounds
Round 4 Day 11 lost = 15.5 pounds
Round 5 Day 11 lost = 13.9 pounds
Round 6 Day 11 lost = 13.7 pounds
Round 7 Day 11 lost = 14.9 pounds
Round 8 Day 11 lost = 10.5 pounds
Yep. See, I'm not kidding. This Round SUCKS. What's really frustrating, is this is usually right around where the weight loss stops for a week to 10 days. I feel like that's exactly where I've already been. So what faces me ahead? The desert of weight loss?
Yet, I press on. I cannot give up, even when I feel like this is completely futile. I'm still making up MAJOR ground here. Blargh.
See, I need prayer. I prayed for strength before I got on the scale this morning (the words of 2 Chronicles 20:15b came to mind -- "Do not be dismayed or discouraged because of this vast army, because the battle is not yours, but God's" -- that brought me so much comfort last year when the job felt like it was closing in -- and believe me, it's no easier now, I'm just used to it) ... and saw the gain. I barely thought about it, but since I am facing dinner (and ate the same lunch I had yesterday, albeit, a little less tomato), I'm starting to feel fearful. And I know I shouldn't fear. I just literally have no idea what I can do. Besides, keep on keeping on.
So, would you pray for me?
Sunday, July 7, 2013
R8P2D1/23 -- Out with the old ...
R(ound) 8, P(hase) 2, D(ay) 1 of 23
July 7, 2013
Before I get started, I am giving a shout out to my Grandpa, whose 103rd birthday was yesterday. He's in Heaven, celebrating it in the best way possible (with Jesus). I thought I'd post one of my favorite pictures of him (that I have electronically) here. Why is it my favorite? Because it's a picture of him (30 years ago), on his birthday, doing what he always did. Hugging my sister (on the right) and me (on the left), sitting there all snuggled up. That happy look on his face. I understand that now that I have beloved children in my life, whom I am happy just to be around. That's what Grandpa was like. So, happy birthday, Grandpa! If you feel like reading more about him, please check out his website (http://elmermking.com/).
So, back to my weight-loss (or anti-weight-loss) journey of late. Today, I start back into the P2 (or wonky food, as I call it) phase. I am SOOOOO ready. When I weighed myself this morning, I have basically erased almost 30 pounds of weight loss. I'm ashamed to admit that, but isn't that what this blog is for? NO MORE HIDING.
I gave up and ate SO MUCH JUNK for the last month. Seriously. JUNK. June was Junk Food month, evidently. July has been business trip junk food and loading food (I don't feel ashamed about the loading food). SO, I have a LOT of ground to make up. But, make it up, I will. It's tough love time for me. I'm loving myself enough to say, "THAT'S IT! Back on the wagon, you petulant girl." On the wagon I go. It's going to be a LONG ride. 23 days of P2 eating, then on July 30, it'll be 3 weeks of P3 eating (proteins only). I'm only giving myself 4 days of P4 (which is basically P3 + a little extra) and then, right back into loading and R9. Almost 30 days of P2. That means, I'm going to be spending the rest of the summer, and the early part of the Autumn not eating what I want, but what I need to lose this weight I found again + the weight I have wanted to lose but seem to rubber band back from over and over. I'm doing it. Do you hear me, cravings? I'M DOING IT with God's help (and your encouragement).
SO, be prepared to read some posts that are less than excited and encouraging. I'm looking at 3 months of restricted, non-yummy-eat-what-sounds-good food. And, I'm excited about it. Mostly. I feel like this must be about what pregnant women feel like. It's exciting to think about the changes that are coming -- and a bit frightening at the same time. Will I be able to handle the 3 months of morning sickness (eating little amounts of food)? Will I be able to handle the physical changes that will come? Will I be able to handle the pain of childbirth (MAJOR food cravings when I am on yet another business trip)? I can with the Lord. So, here goes.
I almost said, "Here goes nothing," but that's not true. This is going to work. Because God has given me strength to see it through for over 1.5 years, and get back on that wagon and begin again. So, I'm on the wagon. And, I'm ready. Let's roll!
July 7, 2013
Before I get started, I am giving a shout out to my Grandpa, whose 103rd birthday was yesterday. He's in Heaven, celebrating it in the best way possible (with Jesus). I thought I'd post one of my favorite pictures of him (that I have electronically) here. Why is it my favorite? Because it's a picture of him (30 years ago), on his birthday, doing what he always did. Hugging my sister (on the right) and me (on the left), sitting there all snuggled up. That happy look on his face. I understand that now that I have beloved children in my life, whom I am happy just to be around. That's what Grandpa was like. So, happy birthday, Grandpa! If you feel like reading more about him, please check out his website (http://elmermking.com/).
So, back to my weight-loss (or anti-weight-loss) journey of late. Today, I start back into the P2 (or wonky food, as I call it) phase. I am SOOOOO ready. When I weighed myself this morning, I have basically erased almost 30 pounds of weight loss. I'm ashamed to admit that, but isn't that what this blog is for? NO MORE HIDING.
I gave up and ate SO MUCH JUNK for the last month. Seriously. JUNK. June was Junk Food month, evidently. July has been business trip junk food and loading food (I don't feel ashamed about the loading food). SO, I have a LOT of ground to make up. But, make it up, I will. It's tough love time for me. I'm loving myself enough to say, "THAT'S IT! Back on the wagon, you petulant girl." On the wagon I go. It's going to be a LONG ride. 23 days of P2 eating, then on July 30, it'll be 3 weeks of P3 eating (proteins only). I'm only giving myself 4 days of P4 (which is basically P3 + a little extra) and then, right back into loading and R9. Almost 30 days of P2. That means, I'm going to be spending the rest of the summer, and the early part of the Autumn not eating what I want, but what I need to lose this weight I found again + the weight I have wanted to lose but seem to rubber band back from over and over. I'm doing it. Do you hear me, cravings? I'M DOING IT with God's help (and your encouragement).
SO, be prepared to read some posts that are less than excited and encouraging. I'm looking at 3 months of restricted, non-yummy-eat-what-sounds-good food. And, I'm excited about it. Mostly. I feel like this must be about what pregnant women feel like. It's exciting to think about the changes that are coming -- and a bit frightening at the same time. Will I be able to handle the 3 months of morning sickness (eating little amounts of food)? Will I be able to handle the physical changes that will come? Will I be able to handle the pain of childbirth (MAJOR food cravings when I am on yet another business trip)? I can with the Lord. So, here goes.
I almost said, "Here goes nothing," but that's not true. This is going to work. Because God has given me strength to see it through for over 1.5 years, and get back on that wagon and begin again. So, I'm on the wagon. And, I'm ready. Let's roll!
Sunday, June 30, 2013
R7P4D?? -- I am starting this again in a week!
Round 7 (R7) Phase 4 (P4) Day (D) something of something
June 30, 2013
I have no idea what day I'm on in P4 (eat what you want), because, I have been eating what I want for WAY too long. The thought, here, is to eat what you want only on rare occasions. I've taken that and run with it. I've been going to a lot of baseball games for one of my nephews, spending a lot of time with them (filling in the gap that they have right now in their lives), I was on a business trip last week and will be again this week, and again and again in the coming months. In short, I've been eating crap (sorry, if that word offends you, but that's what it is) a lot. I've decided, business trip or not, I'm starting this again. I've erased ALL of R7 weight loss. Lovely.
But, instead of kicking myself, I'm going to say (to myself, and you since you are reading this), "PICK YOURSELF UP AND BEGIN WHERE YOU ARE TODAY." The thought of "beginning again" makes my stomach hurt. That feels like I'm starting all over. I'm not. I'm 70 pounds down. But, I'm not 90 pounds down.
True confession -- I've been eating fast food (my bane), because I'm exhausted. It's a crutch and I know it. I don't like what it makes me feel like, but I LOVE that I don't have to think. I can go on, "What sounds good." Then, once I devour it and feel like garbage, I think, "WHY?!" So, I'm giving myself this week (I load on July 4 - 6), and then, business trip or not, I'm taking my drops with me, and packing my food choices, and off I go. If I don't have to go back to Ohio (after this week) for several weeks, then PERFECT. I'll be home and doing what I should be doing. If I have to go, I will explain to those business associates with me that I'm really restricted on what I can eat, and I have packed my food. I'm going to eat what I bring. Caterpillar will get off pretty easy on the expense of sending me, let me tell you.
Here's the thing -- I've GOT to do this. I've said it before. You've seen me say it before. I'm not giving up. I'm not buying a whole new wardrobe. I'm not going to get used to seeing myself this way. NO WAY. I'm losing it (the weight, not my sanity). I feel completely sane in this choice. I'm not going to let myself get derailed BY MYSELF choosing to be lazy or wallow in exhaustion.
My plan is, make it through the Ohio trip (LONG story, which I won't / shouldn't-for-the-sake-of-the-company go into about why I'm going and on the hook to maybe go again and again in the next few months) this week. Then, I start Round 8 -- loading over the July 4 weekend, and starting P2 on Sunday, July 7. I have to get in my days of drops, and three days of P2 without drops, which will bring me into P3 on July 30. I will be in P3 (proteins only) for 3 weeks in August, 4 days (only) of P4, and I'm RIGHT back into Round 9 in late August (August 23 - 25 to be exact). I am going to power through it. That's all there is to it. I have GOT to get this weight back off, stabilize in P3, and then, basically skip P4 and get back into it to get past this plateau that I keep having. I think I'm really getting down to a weight that my body isn't used to, because it wants to bounce me right back to where I am today. NO THANK YOU. SO, my thought is, if I stabilize in P3, and skip P4 (which is totally legal in this program), and start losing again, I will get myself into numbers I've not seen in 18 years, AND past this mark on the scale that my body seems to want to stick at.
So, that's about it. Happy June. Here's to a thinner July (after a few days of getting squishier) and a MUCH more stable August.
June 30, 2013
I have no idea what day I'm on in P4 (eat what you want), because, I have been eating what I want for WAY too long. The thought, here, is to eat what you want only on rare occasions. I've taken that and run with it. I've been going to a lot of baseball games for one of my nephews, spending a lot of time with them (filling in the gap that they have right now in their lives), I was on a business trip last week and will be again this week, and again and again in the coming months. In short, I've been eating crap (sorry, if that word offends you, but that's what it is) a lot. I've decided, business trip or not, I'm starting this again. I've erased ALL of R7 weight loss. Lovely.
But, instead of kicking myself, I'm going to say (to myself, and you since you are reading this), "PICK YOURSELF UP AND BEGIN WHERE YOU ARE TODAY." The thought of "beginning again" makes my stomach hurt. That feels like I'm starting all over. I'm not. I'm 70 pounds down. But, I'm not 90 pounds down.
True confession -- I've been eating fast food (my bane), because I'm exhausted. It's a crutch and I know it. I don't like what it makes me feel like, but I LOVE that I don't have to think. I can go on, "What sounds good." Then, once I devour it and feel like garbage, I think, "WHY?!" So, I'm giving myself this week (I load on July 4 - 6), and then, business trip or not, I'm taking my drops with me, and packing my food choices, and off I go. If I don't have to go back to Ohio (after this week) for several weeks, then PERFECT. I'll be home and doing what I should be doing. If I have to go, I will explain to those business associates with me that I'm really restricted on what I can eat, and I have packed my food. I'm going to eat what I bring. Caterpillar will get off pretty easy on the expense of sending me, let me tell you.
Here's the thing -- I've GOT to do this. I've said it before. You've seen me say it before. I'm not giving up. I'm not buying a whole new wardrobe. I'm not going to get used to seeing myself this way. NO WAY. I'm losing it (the weight, not my sanity). I feel completely sane in this choice. I'm not going to let myself get derailed BY MYSELF choosing to be lazy or wallow in exhaustion.
My plan is, make it through the Ohio trip (LONG story, which I won't / shouldn't-for-the-sake-of-the-company go into about why I'm going and on the hook to maybe go again and again in the next few months) this week. Then, I start Round 8 -- loading over the July 4 weekend, and starting P2 on Sunday, July 7. I have to get in my days of drops, and three days of P2 without drops, which will bring me into P3 on July 30. I will be in P3 (proteins only) for 3 weeks in August, 4 days (only) of P4, and I'm RIGHT back into Round 9 in late August (August 23 - 25 to be exact). I am going to power through it. That's all there is to it. I have GOT to get this weight back off, stabilize in P3, and then, basically skip P4 and get back into it to get past this plateau that I keep having. I think I'm really getting down to a weight that my body isn't used to, because it wants to bounce me right back to where I am today. NO THANK YOU. SO, my thought is, if I stabilize in P3, and skip P4 (which is totally legal in this program), and start losing again, I will get myself into numbers I've not seen in 18 years, AND past this mark on the scale that my body seems to want to stick at.
So, that's about it. Happy June. Here's to a thinner July (after a few days of getting squishier) and a MUCH more stable August.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
R7P3D20/21 -- Lessons about God from a 7-year-old
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Round 7 (R7), Phase 3 (P3) Proteins, Day 20 of 21
It's been a while. Sorry about that. Plugging right along. I'm a little up (about 4 pounds) from Last Dosage Weight (LDW), but I'm not worried. Last week was my Gram's (Mom's Mom) 99th birthday, and my Grandpa's (Dad's Dad) 98th birthday. Grandpa died 2 days after he turned 98. So, on top of a week's vacation, I had yard work, birthday celebrations and life celebrations for two nonagenarians (90-year-olds).
But, aside from that, something happened last night that I just have to share, before the memory of it flies out of my head.
Last night, as I was wrapping up my evening of Aunt time with Samuel & Ben which consisted of Bicycle Safety Town, DQ small ice cream cones (for them) & listening to their favorite, tried & true Sunday School songs while cruising in my car (they were both singing along, which made MY heart sing), I got an enthusiastic hug from Ben (4). That's not surprising, as he is probably the happiest, most carefree child I know (and that's saying a lot). Samuel (7), on the other hand, is a wild card. Sometimes he's reserved & other times, he's Mr. Wrestle-Me-To-The-Ground-When-Hugging-Me (I'm not kidding, he actually has knocked me off of my feet!).
Well, last night, after one of the longest, non-"wrestly" hugs I've ever received from him (he wouldn't let go ... not dramatically, just really, really hugging me for a long time). I guess I was speaking his love language yesterday. Anyway, I told him I loved him (like I always do when I say goodnight to kiddies) & we discussed when I will see him again. He smiled, sweetly (again, not his usual "wrestly" self), and turned to go back into the house. Suddenly, he stopped and abruptly turned back to me. He took his hands out of his pockets and I could tell there was something in them as he outstretched them to me. "Aunt Julia?" he said, almost sheepishly. "Yeah, Buddy?" I replied. "Here, I want you to have these." He quickly thrust three little "somethings" into my hand. When I opened up my hand, I saw what they were -- three little pieces of candy that look like white, speckled Sprees (I have no idea what they are). He mumbled, "I've been saving these for a special time later. But, I want you to have them." I thanked him and told him he didn't have to give them to me. He insisted, "No, I want you to have them. They are special." Those three pieces of candy meant a lot to that little 7-year-old. And, they mean the world to this 41-year-old, because he offered them to me freely, when I didn't even know they were there. Yes, they most certainly are special. He wanted to give me something, like I had given him somethings all night. Who am I to deny him the pleasure of giving that I get when I give to others?
I just found those three little pieces of candy tucked away and it reminded me to share this story, before it fades into the oblivion and business of the day. I have put them in a special place, so when I see them again, I'll remember this story. I'm sharing it with you so I won't forget, and so maybe Samuel's gift and the lesson I gleaned from it might resonate with one of you. Here is the lesson ...
I think the joy I felt in receiving Samuel's gift (that had no real monetary value, but was priceless to me because I know how much they meant to him) must be how God feels about my meager sacrifices (time, money, attitude) that I give to Him. It's nothing compared to what He has given me (life, health, love, happiness, the world) and the price He has paid (His life for my salvation). But, He willingly, and with joy the Bible says, accepts my gifts of love and gives back in ten-twenty-million-fold. And, that makes me want to give Him more. It took three little pieces of candy from a beloved 7-year-old for me to really realize that lesson today.
I'm grateful.
Round 7 (R7), Phase 3 (P3) Proteins, Day 20 of 21
It's been a while. Sorry about that. Plugging right along. I'm a little up (about 4 pounds) from Last Dosage Weight (LDW), but I'm not worried. Last week was my Gram's (Mom's Mom) 99th birthday, and my Grandpa's (Dad's Dad) 98th birthday. Grandpa died 2 days after he turned 98. So, on top of a week's vacation, I had yard work, birthday celebrations and life celebrations for two nonagenarians (90-year-olds).
But, aside from that, something happened last night that I just have to share, before the memory of it flies out of my head.
Last night, as I was wrapping up my evening of Aunt time with Samuel & Ben which consisted of Bicycle Safety Town, DQ small ice cream cones (for them) & listening to their favorite, tried & true Sunday School songs while cruising in my car (they were both singing along, which made MY heart sing), I got an enthusiastic hug from Ben (4). That's not surprising, as he is probably the happiest, most carefree child I know (and that's saying a lot). Samuel (7), on the other hand, is a wild card. Sometimes he's reserved & other times, he's Mr. Wrestle-Me-To-The-Ground-When-Hugging-Me (I'm not kidding, he actually has knocked me off of my feet!).
Well, last night, after one of the longest, non-"wrestly" hugs I've ever received from him (he wouldn't let go ... not dramatically, just really, really hugging me for a long time). I guess I was speaking his love language yesterday. Anyway, I told him I loved him (like I always do when I say goodnight to kiddies) & we discussed when I will see him again. He smiled, sweetly (again, not his usual "wrestly" self), and turned to go back into the house. Suddenly, he stopped and abruptly turned back to me. He took his hands out of his pockets and I could tell there was something in them as he outstretched them to me. "Aunt Julia?" he said, almost sheepishly. "Yeah, Buddy?" I replied. "Here, I want you to have these." He quickly thrust three little "somethings" into my hand. When I opened up my hand, I saw what they were -- three little pieces of candy that look like white, speckled Sprees (I have no idea what they are). He mumbled, "I've been saving these for a special time later. But, I want you to have them." I thanked him and told him he didn't have to give them to me. He insisted, "No, I want you to have them. They are special." Those three pieces of candy meant a lot to that little 7-year-old. And, they mean the world to this 41-year-old, because he offered them to me freely, when I didn't even know they were there. Yes, they most certainly are special. He wanted to give me something, like I had given him somethings all night. Who am I to deny him the pleasure of giving that I get when I give to others?
I just found those three little pieces of candy tucked away and it reminded me to share this story, before it fades into the oblivion and business of the day. I have put them in a special place, so when I see them again, I'll remember this story. I'm sharing it with you so I won't forget, and so maybe Samuel's gift and the lesson I gleaned from it might resonate with one of you. Here is the lesson ...
I think the joy I felt in receiving Samuel's gift (that had no real monetary value, but was priceless to me because I know how much they meant to him) must be how God feels about my meager sacrifices (time, money, attitude) that I give to Him. It's nothing compared to what He has given me (life, health, love, happiness, the world) and the price He has paid (His life for my salvation). But, He willingly, and with joy the Bible says, accepts my gifts of love and gives back in ten-twenty-million-fold. And, that makes me want to give Him more. It took three little pieces of candy from a beloved 7-year-old for me to really realize that lesson today.
I'm grateful.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
R7P2D10/34 -- Blog Shmog
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Round 7 (R7), Phase 2 (P2) Very Low Calorie Day (VLCD) 10 of 34
I am hungry. I am also a little angry (at some incompetence at work). Therefore, I'm pretty certain I'm not really hungry. I'm just wanting to "jaz it up" today with a little popcorn or whatever. But, I really don't want to jaz it up. I want to keep losing weight. So, I press on.
Has it really been a month since I wrote last? Holy crickets, it has. I was flying into India a month ago today. And, I weighed right what I do right now. So, 9 days of P2 eating (plus a 4 day -- yes 4 day P1 load) and I'm right back where I started. Yep, I gained while I was there. But, I didn't gain as much as I had dreaded, AND, I lost it when I got home (almost). Then, a week later, when I loaded, I gained it back (big surprise!). So, I've gotten it off (almost, just a few ounces above). And now, I'm in the "dreaded" stand-still week. Week 2. I had the best Week 1 of P2 ever (14.2 off in a week), but now, for the last 3 days, I've stayed exactly the same. No problem. It's bound to happen. It's all about keeping a good attitude, and through the good attitude, prayer, and good choices, I'll make it the rest of the 24 days. It'll be over with in no time. And, right around the time I end R7P2, it will reach the one year mark on this new job. Which seems amazing and daunting at the same time. Have I really been here a year? Have I really been doing HCG for almost 1.5 years? Good grief! Shouldn't I be at my weight-loss goal? Shouldn't I be in a different (not dreaded) job yet?
Nope, I should be right where I am today.
But why?
Because God has allowed me to be here. There's a reason. There are many reasons. I won't go into all of them (many of you have heard them). But, as far as the weight loss, I am where I am (no, I am not Popeye), because I'm at a place where my body has stalled in the past. Besides inching a little below this at the end of a P2 cycle, I don't seem to be able to stick it in the decade below. Why? Because my body has stayed in this decade for months at a time. It's stayed in the lower decade for days (in the last 20 years). It's used to this decade.
That's why I have made this round a MAMMOTH round (34 days). I'm going to force my body into realizing that I mean business. I'm also going to do a LOOOOONG (the longest) P4 (eating in moderation after stabilizing in P3) I've ever done. I think it's 74 days. That means, I won't have travel, or a fast turn around into another P2 to distract me from the prize -- stabilizing. I'm going to ease into this like an old man into a hot bath. In other words, slowly.
But, before I can ease into the warm bath of P3, I have to make it through the mud and grime of P2. So, here I am, knee deep in it. If I can handle flying around the world by myself, and eating snake, duck tongue and piglet skin, and walking barefoot in a Hindu temple, and picking up a cockroach & throwing it out of the cab with my bare fingers, and being monitored (yes, I heard people in the duct work) in China, I can do this.
I'm about at the 1/2 way mark before I can bail (which, I'm not going to, Lord-willing). If you'll remember, the moment you start drops (P2 is the only time you take drops and eat only 500 calories of very specific food a day), you have to keep taking them for 21 days, or your body will gain back anything you've lost and then some. Don't ask me. It's a hormone thing. So, I have to go for another 11 days (unlike others, I don't count my loading days of P1 as part of my drop days ... I count 21 days of P2 eating as my P2 required 21 days) before I can officially "quit." But, I'm not a quitter. If I was, I'd be unemployed (I would have quit this job in a New York minute), 450 pounds, defaulting on my student loans and living in a cardboard box in some warm climate.
But, I'm in this to win this. I'm not bailing at 21 days. I don't care how angry I am at stalling (I believe I'm in a stall right now, but I'm not angry). I don't care how hungry my mind thinks it is (note, once you've been on HCG, it's easy to tell the difference between brain hunger and stomach hunger -- mine is almost always brain hunger). I really, REALLY don't care how bored I get with P2 food. I must press on.
Okay, so here comes the analogy part. (Readers, switch off paying attention now.)
We all know, I'm not a parent (I am, however, very apparent!). But, I equate P2 with the beginning part of parenthood. It's when you are the freshest, excited about what your life is becoming, eager to see the person you are getting ready to birth, and the biggest novice about where your life is headed. What will it feel like to live on 2 hours of sleep (500 calories of food a day)? Will you make good choices as a parent (dieter)? Will you want to give the child back (quit) after a few days? You read all of the books (check), get advice from people who have done it all before you (check) and plan until ... well, you have the baby (start the diet). But, until you dive in and get in the middle of the mess (poop and puke and pacifiers vs. chopping veggies and watching others eat your favorite foods), you don't really know how YOUR journey will be. And, with each child (like each Round), you find out something different. This child (Round) reacts this way. That child (Round) reacted that way. That's where I am. I'm on Round (child?) 7. :-) And, if I've learned anything, it's that all of the planning in the world is not enough. It helps, but you can't plan away change. It happens regardless of the best laid plans.
So, yes. I've shed some of the same weight again and again (this is the 3rd time with some of these pounds). But, at the top of the scale in this journey, I'd lost and regained the first 20-30 pounds probably 5 times (and that's a conservative guess). I'm at a point in my journey (just over 2/3 done with where I want to be) and at a weight that I have never gotten below (except for my the grace of God using HCG). It's going to take a while to teach my body that I am serious. And I am serious. I'm not going to let it go back up without fighting it back down. Just watch out, body. You're in for it. :-)
I know you scoffers are looking at me and thinking, "This is proof that it doesn't work." But, I'm here to say, all diets (including those you, my dear readers, have been on) fail if you take your eye off of the prize. I feel like a "winner" with this diet (even though I'm re-losing 20 pounds for the 3rd time) because I have NEVER stuck with any diet plan for longer than 6 months. THAT alone means it's working. I've also lost 85 pounds. At the worst, I've lost 70 pounds. That's still a small person. And, that's a person I'm hoping I'll never know again. In my heart, I've completely divorced that person. I've even dumped all of her old clothes. Try moving back into this body when you have nothing to wear, old self!
So, please keep checking back, from time to time, to see if I'm staying the course. I won't be blogging a lot (let's face it, what more do I have to say that I haven't already said about HCG). No matter what phase I'm in, I weigh in every day and record it in My Fitness Pal (which is what feeds that little ticker up there), even if I don't like what the scale shows. I want to be transparent, because I'm just competitive enough (with myself only -- I know I can do better) that I will keep fighting the good fight. You can check up on me and see if I'm slipping. And, if I am, you have my permission to check in on me and say something like, "I see you're becoming a big fat slob again ..." Wait. No, not that. How about, "I saw your ticker is moving to the left. Anything I can do to encourage you?" I'll probably make some snarky comment about myself being bad at this, but that's when I'll need you to remind me that it's about the journey, not the destination. Because, in the middle of the journey, all I can think about is the destination. And, sometimes, that makes navigation a bit of a chore.
Round 7 (R7), Phase 2 (P2) Very Low Calorie Day (VLCD) 10 of 34
I am hungry. I am also a little angry (at some incompetence at work). Therefore, I'm pretty certain I'm not really hungry. I'm just wanting to "jaz it up" today with a little popcorn or whatever. But, I really don't want to jaz it up. I want to keep losing weight. So, I press on.
Has it really been a month since I wrote last? Holy crickets, it has. I was flying into India a month ago today. And, I weighed right what I do right now. So, 9 days of P2 eating (plus a 4 day -- yes 4 day P1 load) and I'm right back where I started. Yep, I gained while I was there. But, I didn't gain as much as I had dreaded, AND, I lost it when I got home (almost). Then, a week later, when I loaded, I gained it back (big surprise!). So, I've gotten it off (almost, just a few ounces above). And now, I'm in the "dreaded" stand-still week. Week 2. I had the best Week 1 of P2 ever (14.2 off in a week), but now, for the last 3 days, I've stayed exactly the same. No problem. It's bound to happen. It's all about keeping a good attitude, and through the good attitude, prayer, and good choices, I'll make it the rest of the 24 days. It'll be over with in no time. And, right around the time I end R7P2, it will reach the one year mark on this new job. Which seems amazing and daunting at the same time. Have I really been here a year? Have I really been doing HCG for almost 1.5 years? Good grief! Shouldn't I be at my weight-loss goal? Shouldn't I be in a different (not dreaded) job yet?
Nope, I should be right where I am today.
But why?
Because God has allowed me to be here. There's a reason. There are many reasons. I won't go into all of them (many of you have heard them). But, as far as the weight loss, I am where I am (no, I am not Popeye), because I'm at a place where my body has stalled in the past. Besides inching a little below this at the end of a P2 cycle, I don't seem to be able to stick it in the decade below. Why? Because my body has stayed in this decade for months at a time. It's stayed in the lower decade for days (in the last 20 years). It's used to this decade.
That's why I have made this round a MAMMOTH round (34 days). I'm going to force my body into realizing that I mean business. I'm also going to do a LOOOOONG (the longest) P4 (eating in moderation after stabilizing in P3) I've ever done. I think it's 74 days. That means, I won't have travel, or a fast turn around into another P2 to distract me from the prize -- stabilizing. I'm going to ease into this like an old man into a hot bath. In other words, slowly.
But, before I can ease into the warm bath of P3, I have to make it through the mud and grime of P2. So, here I am, knee deep in it. If I can handle flying around the world by myself, and eating snake, duck tongue and piglet skin, and walking barefoot in a Hindu temple, and picking up a cockroach & throwing it out of the cab with my bare fingers, and being monitored (yes, I heard people in the duct work) in China, I can do this.
I'm about at the 1/2 way mark before I can bail (which, I'm not going to, Lord-willing). If you'll remember, the moment you start drops (P2 is the only time you take drops and eat only 500 calories of very specific food a day), you have to keep taking them for 21 days, or your body will gain back anything you've lost and then some. Don't ask me. It's a hormone thing. So, I have to go for another 11 days (unlike others, I don't count my loading days of P1 as part of my drop days ... I count 21 days of P2 eating as my P2 required 21 days) before I can officially "quit." But, I'm not a quitter. If I was, I'd be unemployed (I would have quit this job in a New York minute), 450 pounds, defaulting on my student loans and living in a cardboard box in some warm climate.
But, I'm in this to win this. I'm not bailing at 21 days. I don't care how angry I am at stalling (I believe I'm in a stall right now, but I'm not angry). I don't care how hungry my mind thinks it is (note, once you've been on HCG, it's easy to tell the difference between brain hunger and stomach hunger -- mine is almost always brain hunger). I really, REALLY don't care how bored I get with P2 food. I must press on.
Okay, so here comes the analogy part. (Readers, switch off paying attention now.)
We all know, I'm not a parent (I am, however, very apparent!). But, I equate P2 with the beginning part of parenthood. It's when you are the freshest, excited about what your life is becoming, eager to see the person you are getting ready to birth, and the biggest novice about where your life is headed. What will it feel like to live on 2 hours of sleep (500 calories of food a day)? Will you make good choices as a parent (dieter)? Will you want to give the child back (quit) after a few days? You read all of the books (check), get advice from people who have done it all before you (check) and plan until ... well, you have the baby (start the diet). But, until you dive in and get in the middle of the mess (poop and puke and pacifiers vs. chopping veggies and watching others eat your favorite foods), you don't really know how YOUR journey will be. And, with each child (like each Round), you find out something different. This child (Round) reacts this way. That child (Round) reacted that way. That's where I am. I'm on Round (child?) 7. :-) And, if I've learned anything, it's that all of the planning in the world is not enough. It helps, but you can't plan away change. It happens regardless of the best laid plans.
So, yes. I've shed some of the same weight again and again (this is the 3rd time with some of these pounds). But, at the top of the scale in this journey, I'd lost and regained the first 20-30 pounds probably 5 times (and that's a conservative guess). I'm at a point in my journey (just over 2/3 done with where I want to be) and at a weight that I have never gotten below (except for my the grace of God using HCG). It's going to take a while to teach my body that I am serious. And I am serious. I'm not going to let it go back up without fighting it back down. Just watch out, body. You're in for it. :-)
I know you scoffers are looking at me and thinking, "This is proof that it doesn't work." But, I'm here to say, all diets (including those you, my dear readers, have been on) fail if you take your eye off of the prize. I feel like a "winner" with this diet (even though I'm re-losing 20 pounds for the 3rd time) because I have NEVER stuck with any diet plan for longer than 6 months. THAT alone means it's working. I've also lost 85 pounds. At the worst, I've lost 70 pounds. That's still a small person. And, that's a person I'm hoping I'll never know again. In my heart, I've completely divorced that person. I've even dumped all of her old clothes. Try moving back into this body when you have nothing to wear, old self!
So, please keep checking back, from time to time, to see if I'm staying the course. I won't be blogging a lot (let's face it, what more do I have to say that I haven't already said about HCG). No matter what phase I'm in, I weigh in every day and record it in My Fitness Pal (which is what feeds that little ticker up there), even if I don't like what the scale shows. I want to be transparent, because I'm just competitive enough (with myself only -- I know I can do better) that I will keep fighting the good fight. You can check up on me and see if I'm slipping. And, if I am, you have my permission to check in on me and say something like, "I see you're becoming a big fat slob again ..." Wait. No, not that. How about, "I saw your ticker is moving to the left. Anything I can do to encourage you?" I'll probably make some snarky comment about myself being bad at this, but that's when I'll need you to remind me that it's about the journey, not the destination. Because, in the middle of the journey, all I can think about is the destination. And, sometimes, that makes navigation a bit of a chore.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
R6P4D5/26 -- Hoping for dystentery!
March 7, 2013
Round 6 (R6), Phase 4 (everything in moderation), Day 5 of 26
Well, here I go. Tomorrow (Friday, March 8), at exactly 2:30 p.m., I begin my 24 hour trip to India. I'll fly out of O'Hare at 6-ish p.m., and head to Frankfurt, Germany (can I stay longer than my 3 hour layover, PLEASE?!?!). From there, I will head to Bangalore, India. They are 10.5 hours ahead (starting on Sunday, Central time, after we spring ahead). So, if you're wondering what time it is where I am, add 11, then subtract 30 minutes. That's my time. I'll be there from Saturday (U.S. time) until Wednesday morning (U.S. time). Then, I fly to Singapore. I'll be there until Friday morning (U.S. time). It's like a blip in my trip, but, probably the most exotic and fun place. Then, starting on Friday morning (around 11 Central U.S.), I'll fly to China. I'll remain in Shanghai until Thursday, March 21.
I'm going to be doing a lot of presenting (about Diversity & Communications) and learning a lot (lots of facility and city tours, business meetings, etc.). I plan on taking a LOT of pictures and (maybe) video. I also plan on Skyping and Factiming (for you people with Apple products). I DON'T plan on sleeping a lot. Unfortunately. Because, it's one of my top 10 favorite things to do. But, I'll be in meetings (or sightseeing with coworkers from each city) from 8 a.m. - 9 p.m. each night. So, if I want to talk to my loved ones (which, you know I do!), I'm going to trade in sleep for love. That's a trade I'm happy to make. I've made that trade many times before, and am happy to do it, international travel or not. :-)
I bought a travel scale so I can continue to weigh myself every day while I'm there. I expect, with being in the air a total of 48 hours in 2 weeks, and another maybe 12 in layovers, that my body is going to be in shock. Is it wrong for me to hope for dysentery so I don't gain weight while I'm gone? :-) Most people (who aren't doing HCG) gain about 7-10 pounds on a business trip (hosts LOVE taking visitors out for meals). My plan is to pick at my food (even though I LOVE Indian and Chinese food) and try to eat mostly the protein (even if it's in sauce ... a girl's gotta eat). Caterpillar is putting me up in some swanky 5 Star hotels in each city, to they are supposed to have wonderful breakfast buffets, so I'm going to eat my weight (probably not) in eggs. That should sustain me most of the day. So, maybe I'll lose weight.
Maybe I'll get dystentery in India. Is it wrong for me to hope for that, so I can lose some weight?
My plan is to correct the day I come home (even though that's going to be the day the Hobbit is released on DVD and I'll be watching it with friends that night), so I can get my weight down a bit. Then, by the next weekend (Easter weekend), I'm going to load (Round 7, here I come!), and start up P2 again. That should get me safely out of the 200s. If I don't gain a TON in Asia. Lord, help me.
Oh, and yes, you did just read that. I admitted I'm STILL in the 200s. Big surprise, for any of you who have seen me. I'm 5'8" and I'm still hanging on in the 200s. Frankly, I'm sick of those. I like odd numbers (what can I say, I'm an odd person). And, I VERY MUCH dislike even numbers when it comes to the starting number on my weight. So, here's to Round 7 (odd number) getting me into another odd number (the 190s).
My plan is to blog while I'm gone, upload some pics, etc., to keep you guys traveling with me. Hopefully, I can get on line. I know China locks down Facebook, but only in pockets, so maybe I can be out there too. So, stay tuned! And, please pray for travel mercies. I'm not worried about dying (not at all ... I have the security of heaven, and who doesn't want to end up there?!). I'm worried about getting quaranteened in India because of some stupid reason (they do that a lot), or getting my luggage stolen or lost, or not getting through customs. So, travel mercies, please.
And maybe dystentery.
Round 6 (R6), Phase 4 (everything in moderation), Day 5 of 26
Well, here I go. Tomorrow (Friday, March 8), at exactly 2:30 p.m., I begin my 24 hour trip to India. I'll fly out of O'Hare at 6-ish p.m., and head to Frankfurt, Germany (can I stay longer than my 3 hour layover, PLEASE?!?!). From there, I will head to Bangalore, India. They are 10.5 hours ahead (starting on Sunday, Central time, after we spring ahead). So, if you're wondering what time it is where I am, add 11, then subtract 30 minutes. That's my time. I'll be there from Saturday (U.S. time) until Wednesday morning (U.S. time). Then, I fly to Singapore. I'll be there until Friday morning (U.S. time). It's like a blip in my trip, but, probably the most exotic and fun place. Then, starting on Friday morning (around 11 Central U.S.), I'll fly to China. I'll remain in Shanghai until Thursday, March 21.
I'm going to be doing a lot of presenting (about Diversity & Communications) and learning a lot (lots of facility and city tours, business meetings, etc.). I plan on taking a LOT of pictures and (maybe) video. I also plan on Skyping and Factiming (for you people with Apple products). I DON'T plan on sleeping a lot. Unfortunately. Because, it's one of my top 10 favorite things to do. But, I'll be in meetings (or sightseeing with coworkers from each city) from 8 a.m. - 9 p.m. each night. So, if I want to talk to my loved ones (which, you know I do!), I'm going to trade in sleep for love. That's a trade I'm happy to make. I've made that trade many times before, and am happy to do it, international travel or not. :-)
I bought a travel scale so I can continue to weigh myself every day while I'm there. I expect, with being in the air a total of 48 hours in 2 weeks, and another maybe 12 in layovers, that my body is going to be in shock. Is it wrong for me to hope for dysentery so I don't gain weight while I'm gone? :-) Most people (who aren't doing HCG) gain about 7-10 pounds on a business trip (hosts LOVE taking visitors out for meals). My plan is to pick at my food (even though I LOVE Indian and Chinese food) and try to eat mostly the protein (even if it's in sauce ... a girl's gotta eat). Caterpillar is putting me up in some swanky 5 Star hotels in each city, to they are supposed to have wonderful breakfast buffets, so I'm going to eat my weight (probably not) in eggs. That should sustain me most of the day. So, maybe I'll lose weight.
Maybe I'll get dystentery in India. Is it wrong for me to hope for that, so I can lose some weight?
My plan is to correct the day I come home (even though that's going to be the day the Hobbit is released on DVD and I'll be watching it with friends that night), so I can get my weight down a bit. Then, by the next weekend (Easter weekend), I'm going to load (Round 7, here I come!), and start up P2 again. That should get me safely out of the 200s. If I don't gain a TON in Asia. Lord, help me.
Oh, and yes, you did just read that. I admitted I'm STILL in the 200s. Big surprise, for any of you who have seen me. I'm 5'8" and I'm still hanging on in the 200s. Frankly, I'm sick of those. I like odd numbers (what can I say, I'm an odd person). And, I VERY MUCH dislike even numbers when it comes to the starting number on my weight. So, here's to Round 7 (odd number) getting me into another odd number (the 190s).
My plan is to blog while I'm gone, upload some pics, etc., to keep you guys traveling with me. Hopefully, I can get on line. I know China locks down Facebook, but only in pockets, so maybe I can be out there too. So, stay tuned! And, please pray for travel mercies. I'm not worried about dying (not at all ... I have the security of heaven, and who doesn't want to end up there?!). I'm worried about getting quaranteened in India because of some stupid reason (they do that a lot), or getting my luggage stolen or lost, or not getting through customs. So, travel mercies, please.
And maybe dystentery.
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