Julia's Jottings

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

R3P2D3/25 - I may be stressed, but I'm losing weight

April 11, 2012

Round 3, Phase 2 (Very Low Calorie) Day 3 of 25

I've lost 8.7 pounds so far. On Tuesday morning (my first weigh-in after Day 1 on Monday), I lost my best first day loss yet -- 5.4 pounds. WOW. I guess it paid that I was so stressed out with work that I couldn't eat dinner or drink my water. Yesterday, I did eat my meals and still was only at about 54 ounces of water (compare that to the 120+ ounces I was drinking in R2P2), and this morning, I was down 3.3. So, of the many good things that are coming out of me being so scared that I can't see straight sometimes, at least this program is still working. I'm in a new decade (from where I ended in P2), and I'm 5.9 away from a decade that I've been out of since 2003 (at best). I am looking forward to seeing that one again.

Let's see what tomorrow brings, both with weight and with work. I don't like that I'm being this negative and whining all of the time. But, I will tell you that I appreciate every single one of you who has offered me support and who is praying for me. PLEASE don't stop. I will need prayer every single day for peace and not giving into fear and strength for at least the next 3 months. If not more. Please, keep praying for me. I wasn't even this scared when I had cancer and was facing surgery. So, this is serious. I don't know why, but it is.

The good thing is, my heart is broken. Broken in a good way, because I know with every ounce of my being, that I need God. I need Him to help me breathe sometimes. Other times, it makes me cry when I hear a song (like "God is my Rock" by Glad -- "God is my rock. Whom shall I fear? No one. No one can harm me.") it's because I know the truth of it. I'm being brought low by (humbled at) what is before me. I know I am not able to do anything on my own -- so any success I have, I know will be from the Lord. Any failure, I know God will allow only to teach me. Now, if my head and my heart would only remember that at the same time.

I should go. I have a HUGE day tomorrow (not as big as Tuesday, when I worked 7:30 a.m. to 10 p.m., but still big as I'm running a very big meeting at 7:30 a.m.) So, I better sign off. But, before I do, let me say this ... thank you, dear friends, for your prayers and your encouragement. I feel so selfish because I'm talking all about me. Of course, this IS a blog about me. : ) But, I wish I had a better way of telling you/showing you how much your love and support and prayers mean to me. But, all I have are my words (and tears) right now. Thank you. Please keep praying that I will not give into a spirit of Fear. "Greater is He who is in me, than he who is in the world."

Monday, April 9, 2012

R3P2D1/26 - The (Phase 1) Loading is Done ... whew!

April 9, 2012

Round 3, Phase 2 Very Low Calorie Day (VLCD) 1/26

Well, I finished loading, as of this morning. I am up 2.5 from loading for 3 days. That's less than the last 2 Rounds as I've loaded. I feel like that's good (not gaining more than 3 pounds in 3 days of food fest), but maybe it'll hurt me in the long run. I don't get the exact science behind eating food like this on a diet, but it works. It's not that I wasn't eating like I should -- I ate each day at each meal until I felt that I couldn't any more. That's what loading is all about. I ate until I didn't want to eat whatever I was eating (sometimes, one bite was enough, sometimes a couple of helpings). So, there it is. 2.5 pounds in 3 days. In the past, I'd probably have gained that in one day! On my first day of loading, I was still within Last Dosage Weight (LDW), but I was up a bit (about 1.2 pounds), so in all, I'm saying I gained 3.7 pounds.

So, as of this morning, I am officially 51.0 pounds down from where I was on October 17, 2011, when I started this HCG journey. That's an easy number for me to remember. Now, I'm in P2. It's nice to be back. It's also nice to be doing my shortest round of P2 (26 days, instead of 31 and 35). I want to be in P3 before my Gram's 98th birthday on May 8. So, I'll start P3 on May 4 (Friday). That way, I can get some of the see-saw out of the way before her big day. In the first two Rounds, I used healingpowerwithin drops. This time, after a bunch of research, I switched to Miracle Skinny Drops, which has more stuff in them (vitamins, etc.), so I'm hoping to have. I'm praying that will help me do well in R3. If I can lose the 0.5-1.0 pound daily average, I could lose between 13 - 26 pounds this round. Of course, you know which number I'm HOPING it will be. If I lose 26 pounds, I will be lower than I've been since August 24, 2011. Yes, ONE day, and I remember it well. I got to the lowest weight I'd seen (and still have seen) in 6 years (at that time, now it's 16 years) and the next day, back up. I was doing WW for the first time. Anyway, if I can lose 26 pounds in this Round, I will beat that weight by 1 pound. That's a MAJOR goal. But, honestly, I'll be happy with 15 pounds off (that's move me out of this decade, and through another one).

I better log off. I'm using a vacation day today, so I can cook all of my chicken and fish for the 26 days (I want to be 100% prepared with food cooked, because I know work will exhaust me this time). I'm going to force myself to eat and drink what I'm supposed to, so I can lose, because I just don't want to eat. I guess that's how this new job makes me feel -- like throwing up because of fear of failure. You know the old sob story.

So, I'll leave you with this thought -- one of the points that my pastor preached about yesterday really reasonated with me (they all did, but point #1 was just what I personally needed to hear). We were studying John 20:19-31.

Ritch's first point was, "We receive a freedom from FEAR." The disciples had just either watched, or fled from watching, the death of their closest friend on Earth. Those that stayed (John), watched their best friend die an excruciatingly painful 6 hour death, only 2 days before. They were huddled in an upper room, whispering about what to do next. They were afraid of what would happen to them, what they should do next, and grieving the loss of Jesus. They were probably even reeling from the pain of what Judas had done (betraying Jesus, then killing himself). He had been their friend, too, for the last 3 years. It was a whirlwind. I'm sure many were feeling major guilt about fleeing and leaving Jesus in the hands of Rome.

What happened next? Jesus appeared to them. That was shocking enough. But, what did He say? "Thanks a lot, guys, for sticking with me." "You jerks could have raised an army. Way to have my back." "You are all going to hell because you left me." Nope. He said, "Peace be with you." PEACE. He had pity on them, because He knew their hearts were frightened and traumatized. He wanted them to know everything was alright. As Pastor Ritch said yesterday, "Our passionate shepherd knows His troubled sheep need to be calmed. He knows that a troubled heart is serious business. Condemnation is gone. Many are the afflictions (sickness, failure, persecution) of man to man, but God will deliver us from all. They killed Jesus' body, but only for a time. What can man do to me with God on my side?"

"When we are afraid that God will condemn us for fearing (aka: not trusting), remember how He reacted to his disciples who had fled (or denied Him) after he was taken by the Romans to be crucified. When He rose from the dead and appeared to them (freaking them out -- was He a ghost? were their eyes deceiving them?), His first concern was to comfort them. Comfort. I am clinging to that when the fear of the world (this new, seemingly impossible job) comes crashing in. I pray, that whatever you are facing today, you remember Jesus' words ... "Peace be with you." HE is that peace.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

R2P4D40/41 -- Gearing up for a new Round (starting on Saturday)

April 4, 2012

Round 2 Phase 4 (moderatly eating what I want) Day 40 / 41

Before I talk about this food thing, I just have to be transparent with you.  I am consumed with this new job, and technically, I don't start until May 1. They are PILING on the work, and I mean PILING. I have no idea how I'm going to be able to do this workload in 10 hour (no lunch, no break, barely drink) days, let alone in 24 hours a day. I cry (from being overwhelmed) at the drop of a hat now, it seems. But, I'm talking about it and not shaming myself for being weak, because I know tears are God's way of helping people cope. It's just weird, that I can go from "normal" happy me, to a freaked out, crying ball of emotions overnight. I believe this is about 2 weeks of feeling more and more overwhelmed (each day, I think, it's gotta get better today), and nope. It piles on more. I think I've cried no less than 6 times today -- kind words from Mom, Gram, a coworker -- oh boy. I guess I'm in trouble. This job can't kill me (because God gave it to me), but it sure feels like it's sucking the life out of me. Obviously, your prayers and encouragement and patience with me are MAJORLY coveted and appreciated by me.

I need to remember this:

Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared.  Proverbs 3:25-26
Fortunately, my new boss is a wonderfully calm and forgiving person (we've worked together before) and my team (at least the 3 that I've met) who report to me seem to be kind and very capable. My schedule is already packed (and I mean, wall-to-wall) every day.  Since Cat HR groups tend to be rather tempremental and a bit back-stabbing, I'm praying that I can get into and out of this job every day without anything sticking out of my back.  And with joy that normally is a major part of my life. I must admit, I feel very little joy right now. It's mostly fear.

So, since I've worked insane hours, no lunch, no potty breaks for the last two-ish weeks, I'm taking a break right now. Whether my work load says it or not. I can't believe I'm writing that. But, there it is. Last weekend, I spent time with some of my beloved people and, yet, in the middle of doing something I love (playing games, watching movies, taking a hike, talking, even laughing -- my favorite), I would feel what felt like a literal kick in the stomach when something about work would pop into my brain. "How AM I going to do this?" is the common thought. I am not normally a distracted person from the blessings God has given me. And yet, I'm fighting (and losing, right now) that battle.

At least I don't feel like eating. I couldn't even stomach breakfast, and here it is, 1 pm and I haven't eaten anything yet. Boy, I should lose like gang-busters this upcoming Round. Except you HAVE to eat your calories. Gulp.

Since I'm getting ready to start Round 3, my goal is to try to blog every day in P2. It's so much more interesting to blog (and I hope to read) when I'm actually losing weight. Stop back from time to time to see if I've started blogging more, now that I'm going back into P2. If you aren't on the notification list (meaning, when I publish, you get an email) and you want to me, let me know! It's so encouraging for me to read your encouragement in the doldrums of a stall (for example).

I start Round 3 on Saturday (loading Saturday and Sunday). Sunday, as you know, is Easter, but it is also (you may not know), my Dad's 68th birthday. Happy birthday, Dad! So, I planned on loading that day, so I can start P2 on Monday, April 9, and go until Friday, May 4. I want to be in P3 by my Gram's 98th birthday (which is May 8). I might, thanks to the official start date of this job, move my end of P2 to April 30 (so when I start in Morton on May 1, officially, I won't be eating P2 foods, in case they "force" me to have lunch with them -- I won't have to explain myself). But that would only give me 22 days in P2, instead of 25. This is already going to be the shortest round I do, and I'd really, REALLY like to lose at least 20 pounds. That'll be a stretch, if Round 2 was any indication. I did R2 for 34 days and lost (as of today's stabilization weight) exactly 23 pounds. So, maybe I should say, I'll be happy with 10 - 15 pounds. That sounds SO tiny for an amount lost. But, I've already got R4 planned (loading on July 21 - 22), and that round will be nice and long (40 days-ish).

Anyway, the thing that I think is cool about all of this is, as I was planning this in September/early October last year, I had no idea when I planned this short Round, that I would be THIS stressed out as I embarked on it. And, that's kind of cool. I have 2 Rounds under my belt (which is MUCH smaller, thanks to hHCG, God, your prayers and supports and my efforts), so I feel like I don't have to spend as much time preparing. Maybe that'll come back to bite me in the rear, though. I DO plan on cooking all of my chicken and fish on Monday (I have taken that day off to prepare) for all of my meals this Round, and I haven't given much thought to loading food. Remember last time when I had a list prepared? Maybe I should revisit that. I do know that I want movie theater popcorn. And Kitchen Cooked Potato chips. And, pie. Yah, I think it's time to revisit the list.

Here are the Bible verses that have meant so much to me in times of trouble ... which means, now:

I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13
… choose this day whom ye will serve … Joshua 24:15

The righteous cry out & the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.
Psalm 34:17

You enlarged my path under me so my feed did not slip.
Psalm 18:36

Go in peace and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of Him.1 Samuel 1:17

… and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me. Psalm 51:12b

The Lord will go before you, and the God of Israel will be your guard.
Isaiah 52:12

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and ye shall find; knock and the door shall be opened unto you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.Matthew 7:7-8

If you have the faith of a mustard seed … nothing will be impossible for you.Matthew 17:20

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body …Luke 12:22

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.John 14:27

… but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.John 16:33

In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.Romans 8:37

Let us not weary in doing good, for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.Galatians 6:9

Have a blessed Easter! I'll be going to church with Mom and Gram tomorrow night for Good Friday service, and on Easter with Dad and Carol. I'm really excited! May God's message of salvation reach the ears and hearts of everyone on Earth this Easter!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

R2P4D30/41 - The only good thing about worry? I don't eat.

March 27, 2012

Round 2, Phase 4 (eating in moderation), Day 30

11 days left in Phase 4. Am I ready for Round 3? In theory, yes. I'm ready to weigh less. But, am I ready for all of the mental work it's going to take? Um, I hope so. But, that's stalling my brain ISN'T about food. It's about work. I cannot believe I'm at a place in my life where I worry about work. Lovely.

I'm not sure what I'm ready for at this point because my mind is consumed with this new job. I don't know why, but I'm actually afraid. I'm not saying that in a little, "Oh, I hope I do well" way. I mean, from the bottom of my stomach, fear. So much so, that I wish I hadn't accepted this job. It's already coming at me like Niagra Falls, and the job hasn't even started yet.

And that's irrational.

But, there it is. It's what I'm feeling, and, pray as I might, it creeps back the next second, it seems. I'm in a building (currently) for work that I never wanted to come to. And, yet, I find myself walking down the hall thinking, "This is home." WHAT?! 4.5 years ago when my job moved me here, I thought, "I'm staying there 2 years at the most." Nope. So, I guess my inner voice is rather a ninny. So, I shouldn't listen to it now.

Okay, that's it. I'm choking down my food (which isn't good, because if I don't eat enough calories, I'll gain). I had a hardboiled egg and sugar free bacon for breakfast (my standard), and a few bites of chicken and some greek yogurt and fresh strawberries for lunch. But, I was sick after about a 1/3 of it. My stomach is doing cartwheels.

WHY am I fretting, when I know in my heart that God is in control. I just don't know it in my stomach, I guess. : )

Thursday, March 22, 2012

R2P4D25/41 -- Turning my pressed grapes into Wine, not Whine

March 22, 2012

Round 2, Phase 4 (moderately eat anything), Day 25/41

Today's blog should be about weight. For example, the fact that I lost 1 pound over night, bringing my grand total to 54.7 actually brings me 0.2 pound under Last Dosage Weight (LDW). That's where I want to be for the next 16 days. Okay, great.

Or, today's blog should be about my friend Carrie who is coming home (HOME!) from the hospital today. I visited her at Methodist hospital last night (with my friend Linda) and we both were STUNNED at how good she looks. Why should be be stunned, though? God has been in charge the entire time. I'll post comments from her brother's Facebook update so you can read her entire story. It is TRULY amazing. For those of you who doubt God, the #2 heart surgeon in the country (#5 in the world, I believe) was working on Carrie's heart and said, "I've done all I can. It's up to God and Carrie now." Even he called her a miracle. Praise God!

But instead I'm going to talk about my new job. Okay, giving myself a break, I DID just talk about weight loss and Carrie. But, what I would really like you to pray about is this new job. It's an important fact, because, in the past, I did seek out a job that I knew wasn't the right fit, but I wanted more money. For those of you who knew me then, it was the job at Cat TBU. From Day 1, I knew I had "sold" myself for more money. That experience was terrible. It resulted in lots of tears (which is NOT usual for me), talking to my Mom from my cell in the car and crying because of mean words from the facility manager, etc. But, God moved me into a great job only 10 months later. And, things have been great (or good) with my jobs at Cat since then. I learned to be me in job interviews -- not who I think they want to see to hire me -- and it's paid off. I've been reasonably happy at work. As happy as one can be when working in a non-essential job (it's not like I'm a nurse, or a doctor or a teacher or a paramedic). But, I'm not trying to sound ungrateful. I know God has me here for a reason. I also know that He wants me to be poured out wine for him, not a plump grape in my own contented happiness that helps no one.

But, I side-tracked myself. 4.5 years ago, I received a call, similiar to what I received from my new boss (Deb) in February. My name had been put forward by the 30 lead HR Managers at Cat as a good candidate for this position. Please know -- I'm not bragging. That's important to the story. Both jobs, on paper, I didn't want. 4.5 years ago, I didn't want to move to Mossville from Peoria (I worked 5 minutes from home), not for a small promotion. I didn't want to be a stand-alone communicator. I told them that. So, they gave me some other job duties, offered me the job, and I took it. Why? Because I knew that God orchestrated it. I prayed before, during and after the interview that His will be done, and I'd go where he sent me. Well, he sent me to Mossville. And, I worked harder than I ever did before. Then, 2 years later, the downturn happened. Every HR group in the company (every Division) had to take unpaid layoffs in 2009. I mean, some, up to 12 weeks. My former boss, who was trying to get me back? Her group had to take 8 weeks off. Unpaid. My group? My Division had to take 1. Our HR group? We didn't have to take any. We opted to take 1, because we didn't want to be the only 5 people in the company who didn't contribute. But, we CHOSE to take 1. ONE! Not 8, not 12. One. THAT was God.

So, along comes this new job in Morton. They call me. I know (worked very slightly with) my new boss. She will be an excellent boss. I know the person I am replacing. I even know one of my 4 direct reports. Deb's 80 person team is heralded around Cat as one of the best. Great. But, I don't feel passionate about some of the grunt work in communications. But, that's okay. Why? Because I know I didn't push this. I didn't post for the job, I didn't push myself in the interviews ... I was me. That tells me, much like my Cat Electronics job, this Cat Logistics job has been given to me by God. Why? To stomp out some of my grapes of complacency that I have. It's pretty comfy not having direct reports and being responsible for anyone. I mean NO one. I don't have children, I don't have pets. Well, my 2 fish practically take care of themselves. Now, I'm going to have 4 people who depend on me. And, I'm going to have a LOT of focus on me from the VP. He wants me to be his right arm. Okay. I can do that. Because God will give me the strength. He will protect me. Even if that means I job fail and I get fired, because He'll have something else planned for me.

So, this is what I'm asking you to do for me, if you don't mind. Pray. Pray for me to make it through the deer-caught-in-headlights phase. Pray for me NOT to turn to food. Did I mention I'm starting Round 3, Phase 2 (Very Low Calorie Diet) right after I start this? Pray for me to be a good boss -- a beacon of God's light for my direct reports (especially Chaoli in Shanghai). Pray for me not to be so freaked out that I lose the pep in my step. The last 2 days have been a blur. I feel like I just came up for air. Which is why I'm writing this now. I don't know when I'll write again because I'm going to be doing 2 jobs for a while. But, if you think about me -- or come out here and don't see a blog entry -- will you say a prayer for me. For my sanity. For the sanity of those around me. For God's wine to pour from my life, not my whine.

"Lord, grant me a willing spirit to sustain me ..." Never before have those words from Psalm 51:12b meant more to me than today.

Healing The Broken Heart, by Michael Turbett (Carrie's brother)
I've linked to his article, but if you aren't on FB, you might not be able to see it. He's not one of my FB friends, but I could see it, so maybe you can too.

We all go through our day to day life, running the same routine, not really expecting anything extraordinary to happen. It is the times when calamity strikes that our thoughts and beliefs are really put to the test. It is these times in our lives that God chooses to show us how strong our faith is and how great his power truly is. It was a time such as this that God showed me that even with a speck of faith he will do exceedingly more than we ever imagined possible. And with the collective prayers of many, our specks of faith can quickly grow into a mountain.

Matthew 17: 19 Then the disciples came to Jesus and said, "Why could we not cast it out?" 20 He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”

On February 27, 2012 Carrie Drake, a 43 year old wife and mother of three, was experiencing chest pains and shortness of breath and was forced to make a trip to the ER. Upon arrival at the ER they performed some tests and determine that she had low potassium levels and prescribed a potassium drip. The nurse who administered the IV had accidentally left the brake on and after Carrie had sat there for 2 hours she had received no fluids. The Doctor decided to run another test and found that the problem was much more severe. Carrie had an Aortic Aneurysm which ruptured and was causing internal bleeding into her heart cavity. They immediately rushed her into the OR to do an emergency open heart surgery. It was said that had she actually received the potassium it would have caused her heart to speed up, bleed out, and die in seconds. That was the first miracle, thank the Lord the nurse didn't do her job properly.

As family and friends waited frantically in the waiting room the surgeon work tirelessly to repair the damage to her heart. Many people were praying for her. The word was spread quickly using text messages, e-mails, and Facebook to pray for Carrie. The outpouring of prayers and support was incredible, including people across the U.S. and even abroad. Her situation was dire and hope soon began to flicker like a candle under a glass. The Doctor worked on her for 12 hours straight and his report came back bleak at best. He said her heart had stopped beating a few times and he was having trouble stopping the bleeding. It wasn't looking good. Everyone knew it was time they should start saying their goodbyes to her.

Despite being there late the night before, the Doctor began working on her early the next day in an attempt to stop the bleeding. The Surgery took another 6 hours and when he finished the bleeding was slowed but not stopped. He said that he would work on one repair and another bleed would start in another place. The whole surgery was like that, but he couldn't give up on her, since his wife happened to be the same exact age as Carrie. They replaced the aortic valve in her heart, repaired another valve, and tried to stop the bleeding, but there was nothing further they could do. The doctor said, "It is up to God and Carrie now." They had her hooked up to machines pumping her blood for her as her heart was not functioning. They decided to transport her 170 miles to the University of Chicago, Cardiac Unit by ambulance.

As she was laid up in the Cardiac unit in Chicago, she was in and out of consciousness. She was in pain and discomfort with tubes running out of her everywhere and a giant breathing tube down her throat. Her chest was open and exposed with a thin layer of Gortex covering the hole in her chest. The Doctors had to routinely go back in her chest cavity and clean the blood clots out. They turned the pumps down in hopes that her heart would take over again but to no avail. They determined her heart was only 10% functional. When I asked the doctor what the chances are that she would heart start beating again he told me it was very unlikely and that he had never seen a heart that bad off start working again. He stated that a heart transplant was her only hope and that she would most likely be hooked up to those machines for months awaiting a donor heart. He also said people with this problem typically don't live; they usually never even make it the hospital alive, and if they do, they have brain damage and/or kidney failure. It was a miracle she was there and talking to us with no signs of brain damage or organ failure.

Carrie was very uncomfortable and growing increasing agitated with the tube in her throat. They had to restrain her hands to keep her for pulling it out. I, (her brother Mike), my wife Kasey, her niece Kayla, and her sister Amy came to relieve her husband (who had slept very little in days), and stayed with her in Chicago for the weekend. We brought her an iPod and some speakers because Carrie loves music and sings quite often in church. Now I'm not really one to openly share my faith with everybody, but when I turned on the Christian music and I held her hand, while Amy was holding her other hand, I just started praying out loud. I was compelled to pray, I couldn't stop if I wanted to. We prayed for the Holy Spirit to be with her, to heal her, and to comfort her. I could feel a great presence in the room and tingles like tiny stings of electricity. Her demeanor changed and she became calmer. She was a awake and alert and writing us little messages to us on a dry erase board. My sister Amy is a great comforter and did her toe nails and massaged her feet with oils. It reminded of the story of the woman washing Jesus' feet.

Carrie went into another routine Surgery to clean out her blood clots and the remainder of the weekend she was sedated pretty heavily and would only briefly come to. The music played for her almost nonstop and it seemed to keep her calm. We took turns keeping watch over her for the weekend.

Her husband and our Parents came back that Monday morning. They had moved her to the top of the transplant list and the next available heart that matched would be hers. A week had now past since her heart stopped beating and our prayers had now turned to “Please God give her a new heart.” She was about to go in for another routine surgery to remove the clots again when her mother Carolyn said, "We are trusting God to do a miracle and give her a new heart." and her husband replied, "If God was going was going to do a miracle he would have made her old heart start beating already." I'm pretty sure God heard him.

They brought her into the operating room yet again and began the routine surgery to clean the blood clots as they had done before. As they turned the pumps down on the machines pumping her blood it happened. Her heart took off and started beating entirely on its own! The Surgeon ran out of the OR to tell the good news to the family. It was an honest to God miracle!

My eyes were definitely opened through all of this and I learned a lesson about myself. On the day it happened I posted on Facebook for everyone to pray for her heart to start beating and after the doctor told me her only hope was heart transplant I started praying for a new heart. How small is my faith that I believed God was going to heal her but didn't believe he would do what we all originally asked for. If faith the size of a mustard seed can move a mountain, then my faith is size of a tiny speck. It wasn't one person's faith that prompted God, but an outpouring of believers prayers that made the impossible possible. When we all pray together, our tiny grains of sand of faith quickly add up to make a mountain. That is why it is important to pray for each other and ask for prayer. If a seed of faith can move a mountain than a mountain of faith can move the Earth itself.

Friday, March 16, 2012

R2P4D19/41 - Has it really been two weeks?

March 16, 2012

Round 2, Phase 4 (eating what I want in moderation) Day 19/41

Is it possible that two weeks have passed since I last wrote? I guess so! That means I'm about 1/2 way done with Round 2, Phase 4. It's been a bumpy ride in the last week, since I splurged and had Jimmy John's #12 (the Beach) sandwhich, a bag of their BBQ chips and a chocolate chip cookie on Sunday. I went up. SO, I corrected. And, I'm back down. That's all very encouraging. It might take one day or four, but when the plan is followed, it's easy not to go up and stay up.

So, an update on my friend Carrie. She should be in route back to Peoria (from the University of Chicago Medical Center). God healed her heart (awesome!) -- she did not need a transplant, even though the entire medical staff thought she was going to need one. Her heart is operating normally. She's en route to Peoria to go through quite a bit of recovery before going home. But, if it's anything like the past 1.5 weeks at UCMC, she'll outstrip all of the patients there and be home in a week! : )

Way to go, God! Way to be plucky, Carrie!

I don't have much else to say besides that. I am on track to start Round 3, Phase 1 (Loading -- eating healthy fats) for 2 days on April 7 and April 8 (Easter and my Dad's birthday). Then, Round 2, Phase 2 starts up again on April 9. I'm going to follow P2 the shortest amount of time in my plan -- only 25 days (instead of R1's 31 and R2's 35). I want to be in P3 by my Gram's 98th birthday (on May 8). I'm praying I'll be down 15 - 20 pounds in R3, which would bring my grand total to almost 75 pounds down (over 1/2 way done)! Then, R4 will start in the end of July. But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Oh, one more thing. I just found out last Friday, that I'm starting a new job (in my same company) on May 1. I'll transition over in April (spending 1/2 of my time in both jobs). I'm back into Communications (bye-bye Learning Consultant!) as a Communications Manager. That means, I'll be supervising 4 people (1 is in China). Yikes! If you feel like praying for me for something other than a willing spirit to sustain me through 18 months of weight loss (I'm at 5 months tomorrow!), and prayers for my wayward sister, then, would you pray for me to shine for the Lord as I leave one job and start another? If I allow myself time to think about it, I'm a bit scared I'm going to stink at this formally supervising people. AND, I won't have that "crutch" of food to get me through (among other things, splurges, and "let's go to lunch" will be harder to do). Also, I don't really want to have to disclose what I'm doing to a whole team of subordinates at this time. People can really be judgmental about HCG. And, in case you didn't notice, I'm not stopping. I have too much to lose.

Anyway, that's all for now. That's rather a lot. Good thing I didn't write for a fortnight, or you might be overwhelmed! ; )

Friday, March 2, 2012

R2P4D5/36 -- This isn't about weight loss or tv shows ... it's about life and prayer

March 2, 2012

Round 2, Phase 4 (eating anything in moderation) Day 5 of 36

I haven't written for a week and the reason is simple. My mind has been consumed with prayer for 2 important people in my life. My sister, Chris, and my friend, Carrie. My life isn't about weight-loss (or weight-maintenance) right now -- although I'm maintaining well. It's about praying for 2 people I love. Let me tell you what I feel at liberty to share, so that you can be praying for them as well (if you feel God leading you to do it):

If you follow me on FB, you will know all about sweet Carrie's struggle with her heart that has happened since Sunday. Her life is an ABSOLUTE miracle. If you doubt God's work, just talk to me (or one of Carrie's friends/family). She has had an ARMY (I kid you not) of people praying for her since Sunday. I'm sure those numbers are in the thousands, from friends on FB, to family, extended family, church prayer groups, church prayer chains, neighbors, school families, etc. I am here to say, God has worked a miracle in her (she had an aortic aneurysm on Sunday, which only a handful of people survive). As of today, she is awake, talking (asking for a pedicure!) and waiting (in a hospital room in Chicago) to see if she will need a heart transplant or if her heart will heal with little to no damage. I know one thing -- it will be AMAZING what God does, because it's already been amazing. She should not be alive. And, SHE IS. I am stunned, excited and crying as I write that, even today, and it's been 2 since she -- against all odds -- made it back from looking at death's door. Her struggle isn't over yet, but with each day comes more hope. This is the verse that I found when I was on my knees (one of the many times I and others were on our knees) for Carrie:

"The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them: he delivers them from all their troubles." Psalm 34:17

How awesome that God has been moving, step by step, on Carrie's behalf, so that we who believe in Him can sing His praises to others? Talk about love? For those of you who don't share this belief, I'll just say this and leave it ... God's ways aren't our ways (thank you very much, God's conversation with Job). We may not know why he allows something to happen, but we can rest assured that He is working everything out for good (yes, another Bible verse paraphrase), whether we see it on earth or not.

That verse also applies to my dear sister. I don't feel at liberty to say much here, but, please know, if I'm mentioning her and her situation at all, I believe with all my heart that she -- now, more than ever -- is in desperate need of prayer and God's miracle in her life. I covet your prayers on her behalf. The reason for my prayers, to be allieviated, will take miracles no less than what Carrie's deliverance from the jaws of death has taken.

So, as you face your own battles today, remember that, even though Satan prowls around like a lion waiting to devour (Bible verse paraphrase), "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good, to accomplish what is now being done." Genesis 50:20

Lord, please protect Carrie and Chris -- work a miracle in their lives -- to bring them to safety, and to bring you glory. Amen.